Shawn
How did I get here? I thought to myself as I sat just inches away from Amelia and her mother. The chatter in the room was just as loud and distracting as the thoughts running through my mind. I thought about my conversation with Janet from the night before.
Earlier
"J I'm not doing this okay, I just don't feel right about it." I said, pacing back and forth, frustrated at the fact that she would even suggest such a thing.
"Do you really want to break up with her like this? While we're touring? You said it yourself, that it needed to be done when we return home. Face to face."
"I know what I said, but going out with her and her mother? I'm leading her on. You know where my heart is but I care about her feelings too." I shook my head. "I don't think that I can do this." I flopped down hard on the couch and rested my head in my hands. "I don't want to hurt her J. She's a good person."
Janet took a seat next to me. "Baby this is already done. It was done before it even started. I do feel bad for the role that I've played in this and I know that eventually I will need to have my own conversation with her and apologize." Guilt lined her eyes and she turned to look at me again. "Do you have a better solution?"
Janet slept over in my room that night. The next day was our last full day in Chicago and although everyone wanted to paint the town, staying inside and out of the snowy weather seemed like a better idea.
My mind wouldn't allow me to sleep that night. I laid awake for hours and still had no clue what I was going to do. I got out of bed, careful not to wake Janet.
I paced for a moment, talking to myself quietly, looking through pictures in my phone and rereading text messages that Amelia and I had shared. I was looking through memories, searching for an answer until I realized none of it mattered. I was looking for something that wasn't there.
Going out with Amelia and her mother was definitely not the right thing to do but Janet had a point and if I didn't go, she would definitely know that something was wrong.
So I sent a text to Amelia.
Me: I would love to have dinner with you and your mom, just tell me when and where.
The waiter brought our drinks out and sat them down in front of us. The clinking glasses pulled me out of my head. Twenty minutes into dinner and I hadn't said much. Amelia took a sip from her glass and touched my hand. Her mother smiled.
"Is this your first time in Chicago Shawnette?" Olivia asked. "You should let Amelia show you around someday. This place holds a lot of hidden gems underneath all the grime." She said and smiled.
My stomach was in knots and I felt as if I was more awkward than normal. "I uh, I have actually, on the last tour. We didn't get to sight see then either because of bad weather." I said.
"Awe well thats unfortunate. Well you'll have to make a plan for another visit. You two can stay at our house and sleep in Amelia's old bedroom. Its still exactly how she left it."
"Mom?" Amelia said as her face turned a light shade of pink.
"I've embarrassed her." She said and stood up. "Will you excuse me, I need to use the restroom. Amelia if the waiter comes, will you order for me dear?"
"Gotcha mom!" She said as we watched Olivia walk away.
I'm sure how I was feeling was all over my face. I was horrible at hiding it. She could tell something was wrong. "Baby are you okay?"
