About an hour after arriving at the hotel, I'd showered, gotten dressed and double checked my bags for tomorrow's flight. It was always exciting getting to return home and see my Eissa. I couldn't get to him fast enough. Nothing was better than hearing his little foot steps heading in my direction. His little hands, reaching out for me, smiling at his mama. I missed him so much.
I glanced at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath.
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Shawn suddenly invaded my brain. My thoughts turned to the day she left. Even though the relationship we had seemed so far in the distance, I've carried her with me. Always. My heart was racing, I hadn't been this anxious in a very long time. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself.
"Okay here we go." I said.
The Bar
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Shawn must have felt me walking up on her right because before I was even within arm's reach, she turned and looked in my direction.
Her smile was still so contagious. We stood there in front of each other for a moment. She reached out, took my hand and pulled me into a lingering embrace. I didn't want to let go but I pulled away and just gazed at her.
"I'm so happy you came tonight." I said. Shawn pulled out a chair for me. She avoided my eyes. "I've been worried about you. How are you holding up?" I asked. She shrugged.
"I'm good. Life happens right?" She said finally making eye contact. She knew I understood how she was feeling but I couldn't find the right words. Nothing I could say would change anything.
Shawn just gazed at me with a slight smile lining her lips. I did my best not to shy away from her eyes this time.
"Why are you looking at me that way?" I finally asked. She slowly shook her head.
"I'm just so fucking proud of you." She said and reached out to touch my hand. She hesitated, but before she could pull away, I took it and rested it on my lap.
"Thank you. It means to hear you say that." I grazed her soft hand with my thumbs. She smirked and did that sexy thing she does when she licks her lips. I forgot how much it drove me crazy. For a moment the low murmur of the semi busy lobby had faded and it felt like we were the only two people in the room. It was Shawn's turn to be nervous. She laughed nervously and grabbed a menu.
