Anorexia At It's Finest

"A Lot Prettier Than 135"

I hadn't ate that much in my entire life.

The fear that overtook my body was like a starving child who's last meal was 500 years ago. I stuffed cookies and chips and anything that I could find down my throat.

Nice job Cassie! Being a fatass when you were supposed to be working on your project!

I take out my notebook to start the first journal entry:

[ My goal of this journal is weight loss.

This topic seems petty but I refuse to let myself believe that I shouldn't do it.

The main part of this goal shall be to lose 5 pounds and see where it goes from there.

Thank you.

Tonight I ate a lot of food. So that means tonight was a fail, how fantastic. I will do better tomorrow.

-Cass ]

I hope I don't fail this project.

~~

I didn't sleep well at all that night. I was tossing and turning and nightmares of what was to come occurred. I finally gave up trying to sleep and did what every person should do when they're upset: make ramen.

Cassie, stop. Remember your diet?

I stop in my doorway and sadly waddle back to my bed.

Ramen is love, but I'm not failing the one assignment my shit school gave me.

I change into the clothes I had laid out and sit on the edge of my bed.

What do I do now?

A thought travels through my brain and I pull out the notebook.

[ I have 2 hours before I have to start getting ready for school. I promise today that I will only eat health food, and if I don't I have to say a flirty comment to Brad.

I want to lose the 5 lbs. I'm 5' 2" and I weigh 135. 130 sounds really nice. A lot prettier than 135.

I will finish with updates at the end of today.

-Cass ]

I close the notebook, satisfied with myself.

I have to lose this goddamn weight.

~~

Walking to school has always been a boring, monotonous pain in the ass, until Kaden. Throughout the whole walk to school we talked about music and he introduced me to his favorite band, Careless Cavalier.

Honestly I had never heard of them, but they sounded pretty damn cool. Cavalier basically means to be careless so technically their band is called Careless Careless.

How funny that is

I tap my pen to the rhythm of my thoughts.

I wonder how long it will take to lose five pounds... Hopefully a couple months so I have a lot to write about...

My stomach grumbles snapping me out of thought.

How long until lunch? 15 fucking minutes I NEED FOOD NOW

I sigh and continue tapping my pen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay I'm seriously so sorry I haven't updated in so long just I've been having life things but I know that is no excuse. I've been super excited to see that people are reading! I honestly thought no one would but wow this is fantastic! I know this is fucking short but I have more and probably will do a double update tonight!