breathless >> Zayn Malik <<

3.6

Emilia's POV

I stared onto the dark sky again. What was it like, to be in the dark? I don't have to wait for the answer anymore. One week left. Just one week left.

A tear escapes my eyes. I can't help it anymore. I can't keep on pushing the tears behind. Sometimes, it makes me feel better. I crashed my hands onto my face.

I cried. I finally cried. I didn't know that I'd still have tears in my eyes. It's been awhile since I actually cried. To me, crying is for the weak ones. I can't cry in front of people. They can't see me like this. Weak.

I cried. Until my eyes are sore. That, would be enough for tonight. I'm gonna save some tears on the last day of my life --like, 5 days left? Yeah. 5 days left.

Yesterday, they gave me a very surprising surprise. I laughed. I laughed from the memory. Terra fell on top of the cupcakes table. She's just, funny. I laughed again.

Ashton force me to have a matching tattoo as his. A spiderweb was drawn on top of my collarbone, same as his. It hurts at first, but, when I was getting used to it, it feels just like something was drawn on our skin.

I smiled. My fingers tracing on the skin. This will always be on my skin. And so is his.

Zayn sang me a song, called, I Miss You, by Blink-182. I cried. Because, that was my favourite song. Then and now. Forever and always will be my favourite song.

Geeha pretended she was mad at me, while she was just acting. I laughed. She can be a good actor, you know?

Farra gave me a bracelet, made by her own. I smiled as I look down on it. My friends are my only everything.

Then, I think again, I'm afraid of death. Wait, am I really afraid of death? Why do I always try to die? My eyes closed as my eyebrows furrowed.

I'm all alone by myself on the bench out of my house. The dark sky just attracted me.

Then I know, I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of leaving. Of leaving my friends behind.

I closed my eyes.

I remembered the last time I actually have a friend on my side. Before I find these kids. I laughed again. They're the best memory I have ever experienced.

I went inside the house, tip toeing upstairs, careful not to let a squeak leave the stairs. As I entered my room, I went over to my journal. I opened it up, and saw those quotes and drawings.

I open the next page, and saw the page was full of quotes. So does the other pages. Some was filled with spiderweb. I just smiled as I remembered that I love spiderweb.

A picture was stuck in between the journal. It was us. Me, Terra, Zayn, Ashton, Geeha, Zeera, Farra, Aleisha and Sid.

I'm so gonna miss them. No. I'm not gonna miss them. I'm gonna die. Why would I miss them? A tear escapes my eyes again. I let out a watery laugh.

The laugh turns out to be a sob. A very quiet sob. I sobbed the whole night, unable to contain myself. How am I gonna explain to Ashton? I can't just meet him up and say,

"Hey, Ashton. I'm having leukemia and I'm about to die around five days left. I was told 8 weeks ago, but I decided to tell you today that I'm gonna leave you all in 5 days and die. That's all. Bye."

No. That's unnecessary. I have to think a way to tell him. Or he's gonna know it by himself.

I went to bed only in my "army" shirt and some boy boxers. Let's just hope tomorrow's gonna be a better day.