the girl in the stands - shawn mendes

chapter nine

lauren,

i sat on my bed, feeling sorry for myself.

i skipped school today, i didn't want to face shawn or hailey or blake.

i just wanted to feel sorry for myself and sad.

i saw my door knob turn.

probably my mother here to yell at me for not being at school.

and i was right because she looked at me.

"lauren what are you doing here?" she asked as she hung up the phone on whoever she was talking to.

"feeling sorry for myself for being so stupid" i said and laid my head against the backboard of my bed.

"you are not stupid, lauren. what's going on?" she asked sitting next to me.

"he doesn't like me. i mean why would he? i'm not like him. i'm not popular. i'm just the girl that always makes straight A's. i was stupid to think he would ever notice me" i said, some tears escaping.

"you are so much more" she said.

"i'm not going" i said.

"i won't make you. i just wanted to make sure you are okay"

"well i'm not. you can go. i'll just study" i sighed.

"you don't have to study every second" she said.

"that's what dad wants me to do" i said getting up.

"well i'm not your father" she sighed.

"if shawn doesn't like you for you then he's the stupid one. because you are beautiful and smart and so talented and he doesn't deserve you okay." she said.

"thanks, mom" i said quietly.

"i love you, i'll check in on you at lunch" she said and kissed my forehead.

"i love you too" i said as she walked out my room and closed the door.

*

it was after lunch now and i was sitting on my couch pouring all my feelings into chocolate ice cream.

my mom has turned over a new leaf and isn't forcing me to study all hours for yale.

but my dad's the same. he needs a good talking to.

i don't want to think about shawn or what happened but it's all i can think about.

he has been texting me all day.

i just wish i could be enough for him but i'll never be.

i don't even know why i'm so upset. we weren't even together.

we've never even kissed.

i sat on the couch feeling sorry for myself as i was eating a gallon of ice cream.

i didn't even care anymore about anything.

shawn: can we please talk
shawn: i like you!!!
shawn: i don't care about samantha
shawn: lauren please talk to me
shawn: where are you?? are you okay?
shawn: please laur...

there was a knock on my door.

i got up to answer.

cameron and bryce.

"did shawn send you?" i asked them.

"no, he doesn't know were here" bryce said.

"well why are you here?" i asked.

"can we come in?" cameron asked and i let them in.

they sat on one of my sofa's and i sat too.

"he's miserable without you." cameron started.

"well he brought that upon himself" i said and leaned backward.

"lauren, shawn really cares about you" bryce said.

"it's over. it's over now" i said.

dad: i'm coming home we need to talk

"you guys have to go now" i said jumping up.

"what? we-"

"please you-you have to go." i said.

"okay, fine." bryce said and they left.

i sat back on the couch.

i sighed.

lauren:it doesn't matter anymore. i just was just another girl to you.

i turned my phone off completely.

*

my dad was making me go get takeout for dinner for us.

i was walking down the crowded street to the place because there were no parking spots closer.

i was dressed in sweats not caring. my hair was up.

i walked into the café by the school to grab coffee because my dad wants one.

i froze in my tracks when i saw shawn behind the counter. he wasn't behind behind but he was making coffee.

all i could see was his back but it was him.

i forgot he works here.

he turned around and handed the cashier the coffee but he made eye contact with me.

and he walked over to me.

"lauren" he said.

i didn't say anything, i just stood there.

i didn't know what i was suppose to do.

i tried everything to not look at him.

"lauren, look at me, please" he begged.

he reached for my hand but i pulled back.

"you're not. you're not just another girl." he said.

i looked at him finally.

there was red around his eyes.

"if you were just another girl, i wouldn't of invited you to my house, i wouldn't have told you about my parents or invited you to my sisters wedding. lauren, i wouldn't be nervous to talk to you, or scared to be with you. you're not just another girl, i swear. i wouldn't go out of my way to make you happy. and i wouldn't be here right now trying to fix this. you're nothing close to just another girl." he said.

i had a tear rolling down my face.

"really?" i asked him.

"really." he said.

"what about samantha?" i asked him.

"i didn't go see her. i wouldn't do that because i like you" he promised.

"okay" i nodded.

"okay? you're not.. are you still mad?" he asked.

"no, i'm just confused." i stated.

"at what?" he asked me.

"at what we are. what we were.. shawn i-i wasn't your girlfriend and you weren't my boyfriend" i said and walked away.