the girl in the stands - shawn mendes

chapter twenty five

lauren,

florida was the most fun i ever had but now i'm going back home and then i'm leaving in two weeks.

i haven't thought about what that means for me and shawn.

but i'm sure i will soon.

"i love you, you know that right?" shawn said.

we were cuddled together on his couch watching some movie from netflix.

"i know. i love you too" i smiled looking up at him.

"i'll always love you, i want you to remember that" he said and kissed me.

"okay" i smiled and put my head on his chest again.

—

right now, i was sitting in my english class listening to what my teacher was saying.

but not really listening to what my teacher was saying at the same time.

"hey freak" samantha sat next to me.

"what do you want?" i asked.

"your boyfriend doesn't love you, honey because he's in love with me and has been since freshman year so you should just leave him now" she said. "you were just a bet we made. and look he won because you fell for him"

i refused to believe a word that came out of her mouth but it did bring me back to when he cheated but shawn said there was no bet.

"you're just jealous that nobody loves you like shawn loves me" i said rolling my eyes.

"tried to warn you" she said.

after class, was over. it was lunch so i walked into the cafeteria and looked around for shawn but i couldn't find him.

i took my phone out so i could text him.

but i saw a text from him instead.

shawn: meet me by my locker. want to talk.

i wonder what about?

i put my phone away and walked out the cafeteria feeling a little nervous.

i walked up the staircase and saw him standing there fidgeting with his hands.

"hey, everything okay?" i asked him.

he looked at me.

"lauren, i have to tell you the truth." he said.

that sentence really scared me. i thought about what samantha told me in english and felt my heart do so many flips.

"the truth? the truth about what?" i asked.

did he cheat on me again? no, was i bet?

that was the first thing that popped into my head.

"no, nothing like that" he said basically reading my mind. "i-i didn't cheat"

i was a bet, wasn't i?

"oh" i said feeling my heart go numb. "shawn-"

"i-i've been lying. i don't have feelings for you. i- i don't love you. the only reason i talked to you was because-" he said the worst words someone wants to hear from someone they are in love with.

"because it was all true. every single thing samantha ever said to me and everyone else in this school-it was all true and you lied to my face about it." i said.

he closed his eyes for a minute and i looked away from him because i couldn't stand to actually look at him because if i did, i would break down in tears.

"lauren-"

"no" i said. "you don't love me, you never did. i was just a game to you. i-i never meant anything to you. all of it was a lie." i said.

"at first" he said. "but then i really fell for you"

"i don't believe you. i-i don't believe you" i said.

"please. please understand.. i was a jerk, i know but when i picked you up that morning for breakfast, my whole view changed and i-"

"i just don't understand how.. how you could make it seem so real. make everything feel so real. i really felt like you loved me but i was wrong." i said.

"it was real. i do love you, so much and i have meant every word i've ever said to you. i have" he said.

"no, you know what? you shouldn't be a singer.. maybe an actor cause you're really good at that" i said.

"lauren, please."

"no.. uh me and you are over. i never want to talk to you again or see you again. and i don't want to be in florida with you. i don't-i will never look at you the same. you've ruined everything for me." i said and slid the ring off my finger. "here"

"no, please. please don't walk away" he begged me and reached for me but i pulled away.

"how could you do this to me?" i asked with tears rolling down my face.

"i'm so sorry. lauren, i am so sorry" he said and i saw a single tear roll down his face.

i looked away and let the tears fall. i was letting my guard down because this hurt more than anything has ever hurt before.

i looked at shawn and stepped forward and i could see the pain and sadness all over his face

so i put my hands on his face. "i forgave you for kissing samantha because i loved you.. and you're crying so i know you love me. i know you do. you have to.. i-i won't believe that everything was just fake.. not the way you looked at me. but shawn.. i-i don't forgive you for this"

"i can't lose you" he said softly.

so i hugged him for a few seconds and he held onto me really tightly and then i pulled away.

and i walked away from him, feeling my heart break into a million tiny pieces and it hurt so much. i couldn't even breathe.

and i walked away, straight out of the school.

i never imagined that someone as sweet as shawn could break my heart.

not only one time but two times.

and it hurts so much, it's like someone threw a heavy rock at me..

i walked out and just kept walking and walking.

because it hurt so much, i didn't want to face anyone else ever again.

i wanted this to end.

i walked to the end of the parking lot.

there were cars coming. i could just end this all.

i could take that one step..

and my phone starts ringing.

i took a breath.

did i really just think about killing my self to get rid of the pain?

i looked down at my phone.

jack.

"h-hello?" my voice was breaking.

"lauren? what's wrong?"

"i need you here. i need you" i said and hung up the phone and fell to my knees crying out.

i didn't care anymore.

i just wanted this to go away.

i wanted to go away forever

"please" i whispered.