the girl in the stands - shawn mendes

chapter nineteen

lauren,

"freakazoid" samantha walked up to me.

"what do you want?" i asked rudely.

"oh i've got everything i want including shawn. my shawnie" she said.

those words made my heart shatter into a million pieces. just the thought of samantha and shawn together hurt so much.

"i don't care about you or shawn" i lied.

"yeah right you have some new boyfriend. jack gilinsky, the social media star?" she laughed in my face. "he'll never go for you either"

"then i guess it's a good thing i don't want him" i said and walked away from her annoyed.

but jack was a social media star? how did i not know this?

i walked out in the parking lot, going for my car.

when i got there, shawn was standing there.

"can i help you?" i asked.

"is it true?" he asked me.

"is what true?"

somehow this reminded me of the day we broke up.

three weeks ago.

"you know what"

"that i'm dating someone? why does that concern you" i asked.

"i just.." he trailed off.

"you just what?" i asked.

"i thought you'd forgive me at some point. i thought i could make it up to you, i could-" he seemed sad.

and i wanted nothing more than to hug him right now. i didn't want him to be sad. i looked at him.

he started to walk away.

"i-im not dating jack. there just rumors" i said as he was walking.

so he stopped and turned to me.

"really?" he asked me.

"really, shawn. i-i still love you, i wouldnt be able to be with someone else" i told shawn.

"you are?" he asked and i saw some light in his eyes when i said it.

i nodded. "that can't mean anything, shawn"

"right" he said. "right, i just.. i can't lose you, i really can't. if i lose you, i won't have anyone left. you were it for me"

"we can't" i said. "i don't trust you and i-it would be pointless"

"we would be pointless? lau-"

"no, shawn. i went to florida because i got into the school and i have to leave right after graduation and i don't want to have to say goodbye to you so it's pointless"

"no" he said and walked closer. "no, you're wrong. lauren, you may have to leave but me and you-were not pointless. we're everything. can't you see that?"

"i-i think i need some time" i mumbled.

"fine. fine, okay." he said.

"goodbye, shawn" i turned around.

"one more thing" he said making me turn back.

"i'll never- i won't stop loving you and i won't stop apologizing. but i'll give you time if that's what you want but i will always wait for you so when you're ready.. i'm here" he said.

i didn't says anything, i just looked at him.

"you-you don't have to say anything. you-you just have to know that" he said and walked away from me leaving me standing there.