here I am again .. crying over the same nigga , around the same time every night . Wondering where did I go wrong , wondering was it me? Was I the problem? Constantly putting myself down, wondering how could i let this nigga dog me like he did.. this all started back in August, August 11,2018 to be exact. He was everything I wanted , everything I prayed for, until he turned on me , until he started letting them hoes get in his head.
...
the next morning I woke up to a tear stained pillow and swollen eyes. This was a everyday thing for me though, wasn't nothing unusual . I rolled out of bed, and slipped on my fuzzy slippers, and walked to the bathroom to do my morning routine. As I finished brushing my teeth, I went to the kitchen to get a granola bar. I finished the granola bar, and went back to my room. I instantly picked my phone up & went on Instagram and to my luck the first thing I seen on my feed was my ex.. He had this huge kool-aid man smile on his face , while looking down at his "wife" .. he got married a MONTH after we were done.
....
It all started three years ago in Walmart, he was entering & I was leaving . I accidentally dropped my wallet while walking out the door, and he found it . & after a few days he ran into me at Starbucks & gave it back.. the conversation was a typical conversation .
" hey , you look familiar to the girl I am looking for , have you lost some? " he asked while taking a sip out of his drink," hey yes I did , a wallet to be exact . "
" well I think you're the girl I'm looking for, here you go. you dropped it on your way out the store i been looking for ways to contact you"
I smiled while rubbing my hands through my freshly Done box braids " thank you, I've been looking for this for days, I really appreciate it" . He handed me my wallet while looking around the coffee shop slowly
" you're welcome ma, I noticed on your I.d that you aren't originally from here, where you from ma? " he questioned
" it's Yasmine , but I'm not from this area, I'm from atlanta " I sighed I was irritated because why was he still standing here he obviously saw where I was from if he was reading my I.D
" oh ok. Well nice to meet you. "
* end of flashback*
we ended up exchanging numbers.. i don't usually give random guys my number but he was sweet , but a lil rude , tall , handsome and he didn't seem like other guys i would end up with so i wanted to spice my life up a little bit.
We went days with getting on the phone, and getting to know eachother. On August 17,2018 is the day he asked me on a date, I've never been on a actual real date, but hey why not go with the guy who found my wallet?
We went on our date two days later, we went to Dave and busters & I must say I had a blast, the talks we had, the games we played, and the food we ate, all of it made it the best night I've ever had.
....
We ended up making it official October 8,2018 , he was lovely.. He was so different then the others I've met, he was charming, this may sound corny but he was my knight & shining armor .
He introduced me to his family, they adored me. I met all his friends, I was their " sister" , but little did I know he had another life , with another female right under my nose.
Sad part about it all, everybody knew but me. His family knew and his friends knew. Moral of the story never get to comfortable with the family or the friends they play the game how it goes.
...
So here I am once again, crying. Crying because I thought he loved me, crying because I thought I was the one who was gone walk down the aisle, while he waited on me.
Crying because I thought I was going to be the one to carry his seed. Life is so unfair, why couldn't I been good enough for him?
Why couldn't I been the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.. in the middle of my chaotic thoughts, and tears I got a phone call.
" hello? " I said while wiping my tears
" hello? Is this Yasmine? "
" yes, how can I help you?" I said with a sniff
" it seems to me you were the first person, that popped up on Marcell phone, he is in the hospital with a gun shot wound"
"Marcell? Why was I the fi- - , how did he get - - , wait this has to be an mistake" I said while swinging my legs off the side of the bed so I could be in a sitting position
" ma'am this is not a mistake , and if you can get here immediately it'll be great" she said in a rushed tone
" okay on my way!"
As I laid my phone down, I quickly ran to my closet, and slipped on some gray sweatpants, Jordan's & a Nike jacket. I grabbed my keys and my phone , and I was headed out the door. As I cranked up my car, and put it in drive , I called my bestfriend .
" hello, meet me at the hospital quick, please I need you right now"
" girl your ass better be dying , while you waking me up out my beauty sleep, and you know I got work in the morning! "
I laughed , because i can see her face right now, she was rolling her eyes while her bonnet was on the side of her head.
" are you rolling your eyes, bitch get there immediately I need you! "
" okay okay , on my way " she said
I hung up the phone , and as I made it to the red light , I started saying a prayer in my head.
" dear Heavenly Father, please let this man be okay. Please don't let me lose him tonight, please don't let me lose my temper while I am surrounded by his love ones, please cover him in your precious blood , amen "
I opened my eyes , and the light was green . I made it to the hospital in exactly 30 min, as I got out the car my bestfriend was just now pulling up.
" bitch who could possibly be in here, that you had me getting out this damn bed for?"
" Marcell......"
" Marcell? The same Marcell that cheated on you? The same Marcell you've been crying about? The SAME Marcell that has got married? Bitch you're losing it I'm going home." She said with a eye roll
" no please stay, I have to be here , I need to be here , and I need you with me , I need you to talk me through this"
" bitch you're lucky I just called in , I'll be here but I'm not staying long "
