I silently laid in bed crying. August was out with some work friends, and Jade was out with Randell , he was at the house when we arrived and they decided to go out to eat to talk.
So I decided to lay in bed and cry my heart out. I just felt like I wasn't good enough for auggie , I was a damaged ass human being. Then Marcell tries to come back into my life and just him itself bring back the most horrible memories.
***
Waking up the next morning, I laid in bed for about 10 minutes until I finally decided to get up and start my day. I got out of bed and stretched and yawned while getting a whiff of my morning breath, I scrunched my nose up and quickly headed towards the bathroom.
I grabbed my tooth brush, i wet it and put toothpaste on it , wet it again , and then started brushing my teeth. While I was brushing my teeth I looked into the mirror and notice my eyes were puffy and red from crying myself to sleep lastnight. I was beyond mad at myself, I vowed to myself that I wasn't going to cry over Marcell or shit he's done to me anymore.
But, instead I broke that vow. It's just seeing him lastnight brought back the most horrifying memories , my whole point of moving back to Atlanta was to escape him and all the disgusting memories we've made.
I don't understand why he continues to try to ease his way back into my life, when he did nothing but tear me apart. I don't even understand why he has the audacity to even open his mouth and say anything to me.
" Yasmine? " August said
...
" YASMINE?!? " August said while getting louder
I quickly escaped my thoughts and spit out the toothpaste , and rinsed and wiped my mouth off before I looked back at him and raised a eyebrow.
" You didn't hear me call you the first time? " he questioned while holding my phone in his hand
" No. " I said while rolling my eyes, " And why do you have my phone in your hand? "
" Nah ma , the question is why the fuck Marcell keeps calling and texting your phone? "
I stared at him with a blanked expression, and then got a face cloth and put warm water on it so I could wash my face.
" Yo yas , you hear me " He said while walking towards me and snatching the towel out of my hand.
" Can you please hand me back my towel? " I asked in a annoyed tone, I knew I owed him a explanation, I just didn't feel like replaying the scene at McDonald's lastnight.
" Not until you tell me. "
" I don't know why he is texting my phone August , I saw him lastnight at McDonald's, and he tried to talk to me but I refused to have a conversation with him. " I replied , before snatching my towel out of his hand, and replying warm water to it, and then started gently rubbing my face.
August just left out of the bathroom without saying anything. I shrugged my shoulders and walked over to the shower, and cut on the hot water . I quickly stripped from last night pajamas , and stepping into the shower. The hot water against my skin felt like heaven.
I felt so much stress and tension leave my body, the shower was my happy place. It was a place where I could daydream and think about everything. My mind reverted back to August questioning me 10 minutes ago. I wondered how did Marcell contact me this time, because I was sure I blocked his number. He was so fucking worsem , what else do he want from
Me.. My soul? I quickly chuckled at that thought , because I literally gave that man everything that I possibly could.
I wondered if mason would of survived would everything had of been different? Would Marcell have manned up and changed his ways? Would mason have brought us closer? Everyday I wonder about those two things.
And everyday I miss my child, I wish I xluld have met him, I wish I could of gave him all the hugs and kisses in the world, I wished I could of seen his first day of kindergarten and everything. But unfortunately my baby left this world , before I could do any of that, but that's just How it goes.
God does everything for a reason, and I need to understand that.
**
" Shit " I hissed , while cold water started hitting my body, I quickly turned the knob so I could cut the water off.
I quickly exited the shower , and wrapped a towel around me and walked into my bedroom. August was laying across the bed watching football with a blank expression.
I honestly don't know why he's even mad, and I wasn't up to finding out. I maneuvered to my closet , making sure not to trip over August clothes that were in the floor. I looked into my closet and spotted a floral crop top, and some black nike sweatpants. I took them out the closet and threw them on the bed , and then I grabbed my bra and panty set, and before I left the closetI reached up on my shelf and grabbed my Cherry blossom perfume.
Walking over to my bed, I caught august staring at me, but he quickly turned his attention somewhere else when I raised my eyebrow.
I chuckled before dropping my towel and putting on my clothes , and spraying my perfume.
I gave August one more glance and walked downstairs and to the kitchen to see Randell and jade sitting at the kitchen table looking In the back of a newspaper, I'm assuming looking for houses or apartments because that was jade whole purpose of coming down here .
" Goodmorning " they both said in unison
" Goodmorning JADE " I replied while not saying goodmorning to Randell , he really wasn't my favorite because he hasn't been around jade during her pregnancy , like what kind of man are you?
" About time you got out the shower , girl I thought you drowned " Jade said while making Randell laugh
" Ahaha akiakiaki " I said While imitating his laugh in a high pitchy girly voice.
" Damn yassy pooh , what I do to you? " he asked while calling me the nickname he made up for me in 9th grade .
" Jade what we're doing today? " I said while ignoring him.
" Well me and Randell were going house hunting today, you could tag along if you want. " she said while getting up from the table and grabbing her and Randell plates.
" Na , im good. I'll probably hang with my mom today. "
" Oh yea, she told me to tell you her and your dad were going out of town today. "
" Why didn't she call me? " I said while furrowing my eyebrows
" Because you was sleep " Jade said in a duh tone.
" Oh. " I replied
" Cmon Randell we need to get dress " Jade said while motioning for Randell to come up the stairs.
I rolled my eyes and went in the living room, I guess today was going to be a long boring day.
