During dinner me and August said nothing to eachother .. I felt like I didn't have to talk to him because he doesn't talk to me .. maybe childish , but OH WELL.
After I washed all the dishes and dried them I went up to my room. Laying down on the bed I decided to call jade .
" h-hello? "
" tf you doing ? " I said
" I'm-aa h-avve ouuuuu " Jade MOANED
This bitch .
I hung up and just decided to call her tomorrow.
" UGHHHHH "
A loud screech noise came from August room. I immediately got up and went to see what happened. When I walked in I seen a blood trail. I quickly ran into the bathroom and August was against the wall with tears coming out his eyes and a blade to his skin.
" omg August what are you doing " I said while crouching down and taking a look at his cuts ," im tired yasmine. im so tired " he cried , " give me the blade now! "
He hesitated before he handed me the blade and looked me in my eyes and said " sorry " .. I was sorry .. sorry I didn't make him open up to me. Sorry I didn't notice that he was this sad. I knew I shouldn't be blaming myself but maybe if i paid more attention I would of noticed all the signs.
" Why? Tell me why.. " I said while placing the blade on the counter and taking a seat beside him
" because .. do you know how it feels to be alone? How it feels to not have anybody by your side? How it feels to be betrayed by the only people you love. My family watched me struggle and didn't help. A bitch broke me, robbed me, and left. I am homeless living off somebody else. I AM A MAN! How do you think that make me feel? "
" August it's okay.. the storm doesn't last forever . But what is cutting yourself solving? Only thing you're doing is causing yourself more pain. Physically and mentally! "
" im numb. " he said above a whisper
" it doesn't matter.. you're still harming your beautiful skin. "
He looked me in my eyes. The intense stare made me shy ..
"what? "
" have I ever told you , you're beautiful? "
he licked his lips, put his hand under my chin and brung my face closer to his. My breathing increased rapidly. What was his next move? Is August going to kiss me? I wanted to pull my face away , but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
His lips and my lips were so close. If I moved my head they were going to touch.
" your eyes are so gorgeous.. the freckles you have make me want to eat you whole. " he said with a chuckle
I just stared. And then it happened he laid a soft kiss on my lips. The kiss made me feel sparks. This was a day I was going to remember. Day 2 living with August was amazing. Let the journey begin..
He pulled away and quickly apologized..
" omg I am so sorry I was just caught in the moment ma. "
I still stared. I was speechless. The kiss made me feel a way I haven't felt in a long time. The kiss made me feel a feeling I've been craving to feel since forever. The kiss made me feel human again.
" you hear me ma? I'm sorry "
" it-s ok—ayy " I stuttered
" wow " he laughed
" my kiss was that good? "
" no " I said while hitting him and smiling.
After me and him continued to sit there and talk about random things I got sleepy.
August got up and said he was going to take a shower and clean all the blood up. But I decided to wait on him in his room. I felt like he needed someone there.
He came back into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist and water still on his chest. My God he looked gorgeous. My mind wondered into so many negative thoughts, I didn't even know I was staring until he said
" close your mouth before a fly, fly in it"
" haha very funny . " I said
" so you going to stay in here while I get dressed? I mean I will understand if you want to see me naked. Just say it and you got it. "
" you think you funny? Well you're not. But I will turn around, so hurry . "
After about 5 min he was done. He came and laid down beside me. I was sitting against the head board with my legs crossed and my hands in my lap.
" lay down with me ma. You making me nervous "
I laid down beside him but put a pillow in the middle of us. He just looked at me and laughed for whatever reason.
" was that necessary? "
" if I did it then yea " I said while rolling my eyes with a smile
" you got it ma.. "
" can I ask you some? " he said
" yea wsp? "
" why you still in here? "
" I feel like you need someone by your side so im here.. "
" I really appreciate that ma " he said with a smile ..
" tell me your story "
" okay. You tell me yours after . " I said
" deal . "
" my name Yasmine . I moved out of Atlanta and to the Bronx for school purposes. I wanted to be a obgyn but I dropped out when I met this guy. He was someone I never pictured myself with but that's what made me like him more. But he end up breaking my heart.. he became verbally abusive, he started talking to other females, he made me lose a child.. a whole child man. I hate him so much. But recently he did something that made me hate him even more. He lied to me abt this thing. here's the thing we broke up, he got a "wife" months later, turns out his family is in a drug business so the whole wife thing was a cover up to protect me. But instead of protecting me he broke me even more .. the pain he caused me is so indescribable.. I hated myself so much all because of him. I cried almost everynight because of him. I lost a child due to stress all because of him. So now? I'm starting over. "
" wow .. that's deep I'm glad you left though. Sounds like you need a fresh start ma "
" I do but your go.. "
" well I wasn't always homeless. I actually had a car, a good paying job, and a loving family and my own house. I lost it all when I fell inlove with someone my parents didn't approve of. She was a stripper, but I understood her life style. You have to do what you got to do. My family disowned me when I went and got her pregnant.. but she killed our baby. She got a abortion with my money.. she lied like it was for something else. She than robbed me months later. She set me up, had her brothers rob me for everything I had. My parents laughed, they said " I told you so. " and left me to struggle. I thought it was tough love , but is it really? So now I hate the world. Sometimes I feel things, other times I am numb. Sometimes I want to talk other times I just want to be left alone. So it's not you, it's just my past .. it fucked me up so bad. I am fucked up mentally and emotionally. And day by day I have to fight demons by myself. " he said with tears coming out his eyes
Crazy what love could do to you. I felt his pain.
I wiped his tears, and just wrapped my arms around him and let him cry on my shoulders. Eventually he ended up falling asleep while leaving me in my thoughts ..
