I wish I would of left it at a hi & a bye with Marcell. He was someone I promised myself I would never end up with. He was nice and charming when we first met. He had won my heart in such little time. But now? He broke it into a million pieces and sadly I still love him with every piece . No doubt I was happy this all was a lie , but he made me lose a baby in the process. A lie made me lose a baby. If only he could have told me the truth, I get that he tried to protect me but he went about it in all the wrong ways.
I cried so much. I cried leaving out of the hospital room. I cried getting into my car. I cried on the ride home. I cried walking into the house. I cried walking into my room. I cried while laying down. I cried. Eventually all the crying made me sleepy.
Jade end up waking me up out of my nap.
" open the door bitch, I'm outside "
I really wasn't in the mood for company. Most definitely wasn't in the mood for Jade company. I did not want to be judged . I did not want to hear her bash him. I did not want to hear anything negative .
" bitch you been crying? " she asked soon as I opened the door
here we go..
" yes but, No I do not want to talk about it. "
" yes you do. I'm tired of you holding it all in. " she said while taking a seat on the couch.
I took a seat next to her and crossed my legs. And started fidgeting with my fingers, it's a habit. I always do it when I'm either sad, stressed, or nervous. In this case I was all. Sad to talk about it, stressed because today was just too much, and nervous to tell her what I found out.
" let me hear it. I promise to just listen and not speak until you're finished "
" well today.. I bumped into Rena "
" wait sorry you talking about stale hair Rena? What that bitch say? Do I need to pull up on her dusty ass " she said
" no. Just listen. She told me to go see Marcell. So I went he told me that Rena was a whole lie. She is actually his cousin"
" so bitch you telling me Marcell fucked his cousin and got her pregnant? I knew he was nasty but not ancest nasty! "
" girl no. Listen it was all a scam basically he was doing it to protect me . He say some people are out for him and he knew they were going to come for me, but instead he pretended Rena was his wife and baby mama so they would go for her. " I said with a chuckle because actually saying it out loud made all of it sound more unreal
" wow. He sneaky but a lil smart with his dumbass , but tell me this.. why would he want them to go for his cousin punk ass? " she asked
" so here's the thing. They all in a drug business. Yes bitch! This shit been happening right up in our face . "
" woah you dropping bombs today girl! " she said with a smile
Jade was absolutely crazy, but she made me feel better. She never took anything serious so this just made it funny to me.
"Yes .. but I just don't get why he changed? He tried to protect me but he ended up abusing me verbally. He made me lose Mason.. " I said with tears falling.
Talking about Mason made me extremely emotional . I had a human being inside of me and I lost it. The doctor say it was because of stress . I remember the day like it was yesterday.
* flashback *
May 18, 2021
I had just got from work, and laid down. I was scrolling on Instagram and I seen Marcell " wife " post a picture of him and her with their kid. I just analyzed the picture and wondered why it couldn't be me. Tears automatically fell. I cried until I fell into a deep slumber.
30 min into the nap I woke up with sharp pains in the lower part of my stomach. I attempted to get up but I couldn't. The pain got worse by the the minute I quickly grabbed my phone off my stand and called my Obgyn.
" hello? How may I help you Yasmine? "
" I am having very sharp pains! I think I am having contractions ughhhh it hurts so bad! " I screamed
" okay! Take deep breaths, breathe in and breathe out! I am on my way! Has your water broke?"
" I don't know I don't know it hurts so bad"
" omg omg it's blood! Why is it blood? Please help" I said in excruciating pain
All I could do was cry and pray. I prayed my little baby was okay. I prayed that I was okay.
Finally she arrived. When she walked in she quickly started to lift me and put me into the wheel chair. We made it to the hospital less than 40 min and they quickly put me into a room. All I could do was ask was my baby okay! They did examines, people were running in and out of my room and nobody could tell me what was going on!
After 20 min of me asking they told me.
" Yasmine .. I'm sorry but you lost him"
My heart dropped .. the world stopped . I lost him? I lost my baby? How? How could I lose him? I was eating healthy, I got all my check ups regularly..
" how? Please tell me how? This has to be a mistake? " I cried
" too much stress Yasmine. I am so sorry darling. "
* end of flashback*
From that day forward I promised myself I would never speak to Marcell again. Until the night he got shot. I just had an uneasy feeling so I had to go see him.
" it's okay babygirl, come here " Jade said while she wrapped her arms around me and let me cry in her chest.
I was so exhausted from all the crying I did. I was so tired of being lied to. I was so tired of being sick and tired. So I made a decision that night a decision that will most likely change my life . I made the decision to move. To move out of state without telling anybody but Jade.
