tomorrow without you | TWICE Saida

6 deprived

I wanted to sit near her. I had to sit near her.

Everyone gathered at the pantry, only loud chatters and shuffling of feet could be heard.

Except... her giggle.

I turned my head.

She was a few metres behind me but her face... was shining.

I saw a hand raise to wave.

Seokjin's hand.

"Hi," She smiled as she walked over to seokjin with Mina.

So the three of you were close now.

They sat at the same table and me being the desperate infatuated young adult I was, I pulled Chaeyoung and tried to sit as close to them as I could.

I was an outgoing person. If I knew someone and saw them I wouldn't be afraid to smile and strike up a conversation.

But things were different with Sana. I couldn't simply smile and wave at her. I couldn't even do it to her friends I just met because they were her  friends.

That's how bad my situation was.

With Sana, I was extra careful about everything.

So even though I walked pass her many times, I constantly avoided eye contact.

----

"What's on the schedule now?" I turned to ask Chaeyoung as we quickly walked out of the dorm.

"A workshop, it started five minutes ago," she looked at me, her facial expression showed nothing but worry.

We pushed the doors open.

It was extremely quiet.

"We shouldn't have opened it so aggressively," I whispered into Chaeyoung's ears, eyes never leaving the dozens of faces that were now staring at us.

There were about forty people in this room.

And one of them was Sana.

I could see her staring at me giggling.

I smiled back and gave a slight wave.

"For the late comers, we were talking about looking forward. What we plan for our future. Everyone is drawing a timeline with their hopes for the future," The speaker nicely told us.

Chaeyoung and I grabbed a piece of paper.

"Chaeyoung!" A whisper-yell came from another girl whom I slightly recognised. She had been talking to Chaeyoung for awhile now.

It is Tzuyu.

Tzuyu signalled for her to come over.

"Do you mind?" Chaeyoung looked at me apologetically but it looked like she really wanted to go.

What could I say? I had ditched her earlier today.

"Go ahead," I smiled.

I hated it. I hated being alone. Something about it made me feel self-conscious. Pitiful. Like all eyes were on me. I didn't want Sina to see me alone.

It was depressing and all of a sudden, I just felt like tearing up.

Am I a preteen again or what.

I felt like a loser. Everyone was there in their own group and I was all alone, leaning against the stack of chairs.

Deep down I knew I was being stupid, and this was all just because I was tired, because of my lack of sleep.

I looked down, tears about to fall.

"Dahyun are you okay?" Could it be?

I looked up.

It was you. You who brightened my lonely night.

"I don't know," I stayed quiet.

"I'm sad," I looked up at her. But how could I cry when I was with the person I liked so much.

I couldn't recall the last time I was this blatant about the way I felt.

I was happy that I had someone now. It wasn't just anyone,

it was Sana Minatozaki.

"But I want to laugh as well," I looked at her, a hopeless smile grew on my face but my eyes showed nothing but sadness.

She chuckled.

"It's probably just your lack of sleep," She sat down next to me.

I looked at her.

"Sleep deprivation you know?"

I nodded.

We sat in silence for a few seconds, this time, I was sure she felt awkward too.

But the great extrovert Kim Dahyun, for the first time ever couldn't think of anything to say. It's as if my brain had stopped functioning.

Partially because I was tired, partially because I was too nervous.

Sana Minatozaki suddenly broke the silence. And for that I was extremely thankful.

"Come, I'll help you," She giggled as she put the paper in front of me.