BCS 3: Innocent Mistake

Chapter 32

This story contains violence, aggression, abuse, prolonged torture, romanticized rape, profane languages, suicide, and murder.

~Gone~

I remembered when I was eight years old. I clearly remember how I saw myself as I carefully peeked behind the door of my twin.

Islet playing her doll with Mama. They look so happy as they play. I always want to play with Mama too and with my twin but Mama always so angry whenever she saw me outside of my room. Hindi ko alam ngunit ang lagi niyang sinasabi ay ayaw niyang makita ang aking pagmumukha.

"Ma, why are you playing with me and not with Isla?"

Mas lalo akong napadikit sa gilid ng pinto nang magsalita ang aking kakambal. Tumigil si Mama sa paglalaro sa aking kakambal at hinaplos niya ang buhok ni Islet.

"She's bad, Islet. She ruined my body! She's the unwanted baby but she came here. If only I can abort her but I can't because I will lose you too if I did."

Napakagat ako ng ibabang labi sa aking narinig mula kay Mama.

"But she's your child, right? She's my twin-"

"Listen, I don't want you to go near her or play with her okay?"

Nakita ko ang pagnguso ng aking kakambal.

"But I want to play with her-"

"No! You have to listen to Mama if you want Mama to love you. Do you understand?"

Napakurap-kurap si Islet bago tumango. Mabilis akong nagtago, malungkot na pinagmasdan ang maliliit kong daliri na nilaro ang isa't-isa.

Mga tanong na hanggang ngayon ay nanatili sa aking isip.

Why Mama doesn't love me?

I am her daughter too, right?

I woke from the gentle caress in my hair. Sa aking pagmulat nakita ang nakaabang na Hari. Noong una ang aking akala ay panibagong umaga lamang iyon at naunang magising ang Hari kaysa sa akin. I saw how the King's hunter green flickered when I smiled as I started caressing my stomach, the thing I am used to every day I wake up when I found out that I am pregnant.

I can clearly see the King's face, as he looks down at my lying form.

"H-how are you?" the King asked.

Namamaos ang kaniyang boses nang magtanong sa akin. He licked his lower lips and it's even got pinkier and looks softer as well.

Pinakiramdaman ko ang aking katawan. Umaasang magsusuka ulit sa aking paggising ngunit tila may naramdaman akong kakaiba.

"Baby, how are you?" the King asked again. I heard his voice cracked a bit as he looks away for a second at my stomach, jaw clenched.

Napatigil ako sa aking paghaplos sa tiyan nang maalala ang nangyari.

I remembered Lewin and what happened to him. How I got unconscious after.

Unti-unti akong bumangon mula sa pagkakakhiga. Mabilis akong inalalayan ang Hari habang nararamdaman ang sakit ng kalahating bahagi ng aking katawan.

My lower body hurts a bit. I feel like something's wrong... something is missing.

Napangiwi ako sa tuluyang pagbangon at pag-upo sa kama ng Hari. I started caressing my stomach again, trying to cooing it to be fine as the King observing me carefully.

He looks uncomfortable... nervous...

"I-I... what h-happened?" I asked curiously. The King has this uncertainty in his eyes as he licks his lower lip.