BCS 3: Innocent Mistake

Chapter 12

This story contains violence, aggression, abuse, prolonged torture, romanticized rape, profane languages, suicide, and murder.

~Nightmare~

I can taste the pain all over my body as I trashed violently against the blow that hit my stomach.

I whimpered horribly but I only earned another hard blow at my abdomen. My eyes are blurring from the richness and fullness of my tears.

Hiccups followed by silent whimpers that clogged my throat as my ribs extracted violently from the lack of oxygen.

"Why are you still alive you, bitch! You are so bad, so brat! Who do you think will like you! No one. Tandaan mo iyan Zemira! Hindi ko kailanman ikinatuwang nabuhay ka! Ayaw ko sa pangit mong mukha! Naiintindihan mo? No one will ever like you!"

Mama looks so angry towards me. She seethes her teeth furiously as she badly tugged my hair upward.

"Mama..."

I gasped when Mama kicked me in my jaw. My vision darkened against the impact as I taste the metallic stinging on my taste bud.

"How dare you call me like that! It's disgusting! Don't ever speak because no one wanted to hear your ugly voice."

I can't breathe. It feels too much. I feel pain everywhere that makes me want to die just to never feel the excruciating pain from all over my body. It's burning my flesh. My heart hurts a lot like someone's clenching its fist on it tightly. Horribly.

I jerked up as I found myself trembling frightfully on the bed. My chest heaving up and down as I feel soaked from my sweat. I can feel the panic surfacing just when I saw Margaret beside the bed.

Worry etched on her face as she went closer to me. Only for me to flinched away, my body is trembling so much. Halos hindi ko na alam ang gagawin upang mapatahan ang sarili.

Realizing how I had a nightmare again, or more likely a dream of one of the things that happened to me way back. Lahat ng mga disiplinang ginagawa ni Mama sa akin noon ay laman ng aking panaginip.

Kahit na ang sabi ni Mama ay para sa akin din ang ginagawa niyang pag didisiplina, hindi ko pa rin maipagkailang ayaw ko nang muli ng ganoon.

"Hey chit, are you fine?"

Napatingin ako may Margaret na ngayon ay nakaupo na sa gilid ng kama. Mahigpit akong napahawak sa comforter at pinilit na tumango.

Ayaw kong malaman ni Magaret kung gaano ako kasama.

Ayaw kong kapag nalaman niya'y didisiplinahin din nila ako katulad ng ginagawa ni Mama.

Umiwas kaagad ako ng tingin noong nanatiling nakatingin si Margaret sa akin na tila hindi siya naniniwala sa aking sinabi.

Pahirapang napalunok ako at itinago ang nanginginig na mga kamay sa ilalim ng comforter. Paano kapag nalaman niyang nagsisinungaling ako sa kaniya?

Ayaw ko na muling madisiplina.

"Here, drink this. Mayhap you have a bad dream?"

Nang lumingon ako ulit kay Margaret ay nakita ko ang isang tasa ng tsaa na lagi niyang pinapainom sa akin.

Nagdadalawang isip ako kung kukunin ko iyon o hindi gayong nagsinungaling ako at gayong gusto ko ang tsaang gawa niya dahil lagi akong pinapakalma noon.

She nodded reassuringly towards me. Muli akong napalunok at sinubukang kunin iyon gamit ang nanginginig pa ring mga kamay.

I immediately took a sip from the tea and it quickly soothes my nerves.