Killing another person does something terrible to you, but I have killed so many you would think I have grown numb to this feeling. Why was this woman different from the others, why did she hunt my dreams at night, causing me to toss and turn in Ivars grip? Every turn causes Ivar to grunt and mumbles in his sleep, word unrecognized by my ears or words I didn't want to understand. Sometimes I dream of the child growing inside me, in some dreams he lives and is a brave strong fighter in others I lose the child once more, for those I awake with, my cheeks stained with tears. Silent tears leave my grey orbs as I look towards a sleeping Ivar, it has been two moons, two moons since I killed the woman they call Margrethe, two moons since Eilish Married, two moons since we told our people of the child we carry, two moons are showing on my body abdomen has a little bump to show the growing child, my breast are swollen and Ivar is happy, truly happy to have a child., but fear has him building wall and traps and all kinds of things. Ivar moves in his sleep frowning as he wakes he looks at me. His face softens as he sees my tears pulling himself closer to me he looks at me.
"Bad dreams again" I nod swallowing my tears and leaning my head against his closing my eyes, images of a young child running flash through my mind, his dark hair bouncing as he runs, with a sigh, I lean back and start getting up. I pull the dark black dress over my head. I can feel Ivars eyes on me as I move around. With one last look towards him, I leave our chambers and make my way into the hall...
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I stand and look at my people training in the snowy white lands. I smile as I see Hvitserk and Eilish training together. Ardan makes his way towards me, the dwarf is covered in furs like me to keep himself warm in this harsh winter. He smiles at me looking me up and down
"How are you today, My Queen," he asks standing next to me
"I have had better days," I say nodding
"Its good to see them not yelling at each other, "He says nodding towards Eilish and Hvitserk, they have been fighting over the woman I killed, Margrethe. I nod with him...
"Yes, I have to get back, Ivar is probably wondering where I am" I state making my way toward the hall as I walk Ulfr runs towards me his white fur dirty with mud. the wolf yelps and spins around me before falling into step next to me. As I make my way into the hall people greet me, women are making food by the fires and drinking mead. Ivar sits on the throne speaking to one of his warriors. He smiles as he sees me make my way towards him. He takes a hold of my hand as I sit down next to him. I let out a sigh of tiredness. Ivar looks to me in worry. his hand goes to my stomach touchiing the bumb
"How is my son"he asked waving away the warrior, I smile at him
"Ivar he is only three moons old, Evelyn says I am carrieng low so it must be a boy, but we will see you might have a daughter"I say placing my small ahnd onto of his. He smiles at me
"I know it is a boy, Baldur" I frown at him
"We are not naming him Baldur"
"Baldur was the son of Odin and Freya, he was divine and so our son will two be divine"
"According to your legends he was killed by a misilto a herb killed your divine Baldur, it is a burden to carry a gods name" Ivar shakes his head at me
"We are not naming him Ivan"
"So not Baldur and not Ivan what then hum, "I ask
"What about Mordred" Ardan screams from the back, having heard me and Ivar biker over the name. We both turn to the dwarf
"Who," Ivar asks
"It is a legend about a boy who killed his Father for a woman who turned out to be his Aunt," Ardan says
"You should tell him why," I say moving to sit comfortably
"The boy's father stole the throne from his sister and had a bastard son, a son he left in the woods as a babe, the sister found the boy and raised him to be a great warrior," Ardan says by now many people stop to listen to the dwarf's tale.
"Hum interesting was the boy a king after he killed his father"
"No, he had given the throne to the woman who raised him, but when she died he became king a ruthless one"
"I still like Baldur"
"And I still say carring a gods name is a burden"I say
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I sit in our chambers undoing my hair, Ivar lays on the furs next to me, he is looking at me and what I am doing.
"You once told me fear is a great motivator, what did you mean" He asks causing me to turn to face him
"Fear can motivate people do things but remember Ivar, it is better to be loved by your people and feared by your enemies" Ivar looked to me in question
"What do you mean?"
"People are more loyal to the things they love then what they fear" I turn to face him "People don't need you to be Bjorn or Hvitserk or Ubbe,be Ivar, be the king your people need not the king they want"
"MORRIGAN"A voice screams causing me to jump up and turn, I frown as I see the man enter "I challenge you to single combat for the throne"Ivar jumps up next to me I hold him back with my arm, I turn to the man and smirk
"Very well" I whisper walking towards the young man "But if you lose I will not let you die mercifully"
