How to be Visible

Chapter 37

“Can I come in?”

“Of course dear. Is there any problem?” My mom closed the book she was reading and turned on her swivel chair to look at me.

“I just wanted to talk.” I entered the room and closed the door behind me.

“Okay, what did you want to talk about?” She got up and went to sit on her ginormous bed. Patting the empty spot beside her, she gestured for me to follow suit.

Sinking into the soft bed, I began to share my thoughts with her.

“I listened to what the pastor said today and I have been thinking about it. I know I didn’t want to forgive the twins, Shane and Jessica but I understand that I have to. Especially if I want my prayers to be answered and if I want God to forgive me.”

She nodded but she didn’t say anything, so I continued.

“It is not as easy as I thought. I assumed with a snap of the finger, I wouldn’t hurt anymore since I’ve decided to forgive, but I still do.” I looked down at my lap and kept quiet.

“Darling, forgiving someone who hurt you is never easy. You just have to remind yourself every time you feel hurt about it that Jesus has taken away your pain and you are now walking in freedom from unforgiveness. Do not worry dear, everything will be alright. One step at a time.”

“Are you sure?” I looked up into her baby blue eyes. I still didn’t know why Mason was the one that inherited her fantastic eyes, while I got stuck with dads boring brown eyes.

“Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a little village. They were happy and prosperous and they had all that they needed to survive. One day a terrorist gang attacked them. Raped and killed their women and stabbed their boys and men to death. Anyone that survived, survived because they covered their bodies with the already dead bodies. One particular family were having dinner when it happened. The mother was in the kitchen. When she heard shouts from her neighbors, she went to see what was wrong, only to find them already dead. Rushing back home through the back door, she saw a man shoot her daughter and son and he ran out of the door. Her children were killed before her very own eyes.”

“That is so terrible!” I shrieked.

She nodded and continued.

“Her husband was already dead. After many years, she managed to heal from the hurt and she joined a missionary. On one of their mission trips, they visited the prison. As they were preaching, she saw the man that killed her family, he was an inmate and he was to be released the next day. Seeing the man made her feel hurt again but she didn’t hate him. You can forgive, you cannot forget. That is how the brain works. We have memories and forgiving doesn’t automatically delete the memories or the pain and hurt. Rather, it eases the pain and makes it much more bearable. After their ministration, some prisoners came to talk to them. She went to speak with the man. He didn’t know her. She told him she knew him and narrated what he had done to her. He couldn’t make eye contact with her. She told him that it was okay. She had forgiven him and that if he didn’t have a place to go when he was released, that he could come to her house. She gave him her address.”

“Is she insane?” I asked with wide eyes.

My mom shrugged and just continued.

“He broke down and started crying. He had never received any kind of gift like this. The gift of love. That is what God helps us to do. Once we choose to forgive, he helps us to love those who have offended us. Remember, you like someone because of the good qualities they have. You love someone despite their terrible and horrible characteristics because you are very sure that they can never please you. You may not like someones behaviour but you can still love them. That is why love always wins. Love overlooks all wrong.”