Regular

Unspoken Words

Sorry I haven't updated in forever!! School stuff overtook me! Bleh! Haha. I'll try to catch up on everything!! :D Enjoy this chapter of Regular!! It's almost over!!

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Ever since that encounter with Nathan, my brain had been hurting from all my thinking. I was constantly thinking about love, and boys, and wolves. Mom worked a lot, so I had no one to talk to. It was like I'd never found my mom. We spent one day together and then she kept working. And by the time she got home, I'd either be asleep, or she'd head straight for her room.

I needed a friend.

I was tired of being alone. It'd been a week since Nathan, and I was so tired of making myself think about boys. I just stayed in this little house and watched movies. I didn't go out anymore, I lost contact with Issac, Erica, Fay, and Darnellel... I swallowed at Darnellel's name. I missed him. I missed him so much, it hurt. I wanted him to realize how much he had meant to me, but he wanted a fast commitment.

I was only seventeen.

I held my medallion, debating on whether or not I should call Darnellel. Should I? Would he answer? Would he want to talk to me? Had he moved on? Did he forget about me? I looked at my medallion and breathed. I opened it and awaited his answer.

"Kate?" Darnellel's face showed up.

"Hi," I said.

"Why are you calling me?" he asked.

"I miss you," I said, wanting to cry.

"Then you shouldn't have left," he said, anger vivid in his eyes.

"I--" I sighed. "I needed time to think. To figure out what the hell... And I found my mom."

"Well, then, it looks like everything worked out just fine," he snapped.

"Okay, I deserve that," I whispered.

I wanted to cry so hard. I was a terrible person. I had changed Darnellel--and not in a good way.

"Do you need something?" he snapped.

I shook my head and closed my medallion. I put my face in the couch pillow and cried. He had just shown me the new him. The person he had become because I wasn't ready for marriage. Why couldn't he understand? I never felt so insulted in my life. I sat up and walked out the door. I had to stop this. I had to make things right.

I had to find Darnellel.

His background when we talked, looked like he was outside. So he was probably exploring. I scanned all the faces I saw--none were Darnellel. I asked random citizens if they had seen him. Some said they didn't know him, or just didn't know where he was. Then I saw a brunette walking up to Darnellel. As soon as I saw them two kiss, I knew I had wasted my time.

I found him and he had moved on. He wasn't even thinking about me anymore. I should've known better. My heart felt like it shattered, my stomach had that feeling that you got when someone scared you. I felt lifeless. Like I was nothing. I wanted to look away from Darnellel's affair, but I couldn't bring myself to. We were so close, yet so far.

Then everything went black.

I wanted to fight for my life, but at the same time, I didn't. Everything was nice, peaceful. I didn't think about this certain concept before, because it would give me panic attacks. But now that I was experiencing it, I wasn't sure what I was afraid of. I was comfortable. Not exactly at peace like others, but comfortable. The fact that I heard urgent voices, was proof I was in the hospital--and that I was still alive.

I then decided to fight for my life. Because there were still unspoken words I needed to get out. I still wanted to become a mother, and a grandmother. I wanted to become an Important. I wanted to be loved, love someone who would stick by me. I wanted so many things, that I could probably accomplish.