Regular

The Minds of Boys is Confusing

I somehow managed to pull through. But all I could think about was my father. Why hadn't he come to see me? Did he know I was in the hospital? Was he even thinking about me? Did he care? Was he scared to find me? Scared that I was mad at him? I wanted my dad. I wanted to be an Important, so I didn't have to put up with all of this magic bullshit. The idea of revoking my powers came back. Should I?

I was in the hospital for a week. When I was discharged, I was so happy to get out of there. I hate hospitals. Then again, the average person does. I don't want to be a doctor--or anything that has to do with people dying or already dead. I'd crack too quickly. I moved the thoughts aside and started thinking of happy things. But that was hard.

The conversation with me and Darnellel, me and Nathan, and me and Mason replayed over and over. I still didn't understand what was the deal. Why did these guys "like" me? Why was I having so much trouble figuring this stuff out? I sighed and looked out the car window as Mom drove us home. I fiddled with my fingers as You Guardian Angel played. I restarted it and looked out the window.

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out

How this world turns cold
And breaks through my soul
And I know, I'll find deep inside me
I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you, I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

'Cause you're my, you're my, my
My true love, my whole world
Please don't throw that away

'Cause I'm here for you
Please don't walk away
Please tell me, you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know, I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever

I love that song. Every time I think or listen to that song, I pretend I'm the girl he's singing about. I do that with all the love songs guys write for girls. And when it's a love song a girl wrote for a guy, I pretend I'm singing it to a guy. Which guy? I wasn't sure. I wish I knew. I wish I could just say, "I love you" to someone. I don't need a guy to make me happy, but guys never left me alone anymore.

Mom was surprisingly quiet. I looked at her and she was just staring out the windshield. I wanted to ask if she was okay. I wanted to ask if she was upset or if she neeeded anything. But I was scared to. I wasn't sure why, but I was. So I just fiddled with my fingers some more and waited to pull into our driveway.

The hours went by slowly, but we never stopped driving. We should've been home by now. Were we going somewhere? I looked at Mom and she had the same expression on her face as she did a few hours ago.

"Mom, where are we going?" I asked.

She inhaled and exhaled. "To see your father."

My eyes went wide. "What? Why?"

"He said it was important," she said.

"You don't seem too happy to be seeing him again," I observed.

"It's not that I'm not happy... I just don't want to do this. If it was so important, why couldn't he've just come to us? And it irritates me that he didn't come visit you in the hospital. You're his daughter! What father doesn't visit their child in the hospital? He's so frustrating to deal with sometimes," she sighed.