Capricious

8 - The Tree of Life: Part 2

"Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life."
- Lord Byron

Blazing into meltdown. My body goes off, rocketing into a dizzy rush, tidal waves of delectable, blitzing tundra crashing into me, delivering me from the mountain base, up a level towards the sky, the open, floating luminescence. The tree of life writhes within me, trying to escape, to break free, its branches my bloodstream, its pollen my breath, its roots my gravity. All there is to live for, it's flowers blossoming in my head. Thus I bloom. Wild and free, dancing in the wind. Lighter than air. To drift away with the warmth of the setting sun.

Even alone it seems, I'm surrounded by strange beings, and yet they do not frighten. Light is with me, we on this adventure, imagination there beside me, travelling through clouds. Everything I see, I hear, I think, every sense has another dimension to it. That which I'd have never known, had never known. That all possess more beauty than is given credit. All hidden from us.

That rip up my mouth, down my throat. My brain is on fire, burning bright, surging lava. Sounds speaking to me. I feel a million jagged pricks to the face, each nerve rising, dancing its own dance. In just the lightest of vibrations, like being caressed, a light brush on my whole skin. It is only now I feel the power, it only serves to highlight, inside me everywhere, the hub of my heart, and streaming from without. Frazzled fractures, shaking, jumping up, different ways, all ways.

Two souls standing on the beach. The sun is pink, it is orange, it is purple. It glows behind us. Ribbons of light parade us. The wind against our bare skin. Such thrilling whispers. We dance, spinning and curling, your pink scarf sailing amongst the wind. Growing into the night we lust to become. Bright fires in the distance. Suddenly we collide. My arms save you, keep you up while the dizziness subsides. You ask me a question I barely hear against that showboat the sea. Wet strands and flicks of hair bicker in the wind. My hands grip your waist, push you up, barely standing. Your hands are at my chest. Their smooth silk against my rough bark. The most truly exquisite thing I've ever known. Our eyes grip one another's in our iron embrace, hold us. Staring into that deep blue sea, the glitter of fishes black swimming there. And the huge night ship of the sky, spherical and dominant, that reflects the fractionate speck of light within her, moored in the ocean. We see ourselves in the ship, we each in each other, me her and she me. We fused and locked. Connected. Not alone. Insisting so. And sudden our eyes they shut, our lungs they breath in, our heads they turn. We are there. So quick we never knew the journey occurred at all. Lips alive in gymnastic swings. Such delicate, wet pools around our tongues. Our saliva rafting down rapids, a roller coaster ride in our mouths. Coming out for air and back in so indiscriminate, to breathe as little as possible, to stay together as long as. We taste each other's souls. Our tongues in an age long war to dominate the realm of our mouths. Then we give in, withdraw, forced to breathe something else in. Our foreheads meet, our heads still turning, slight smiles at our mouths. Lips pink and panting. We consuming each other. Her hands up my chest, over my shoulders round my neck. I hoist her on to me, my hands lock at her butt. She looms over me, blocks everything else out, dominating all. It is my strength that holds her to me, but it is her gaze that binds me to her. She is master of me, even though I decide, I do, I think I control, she truly is queen. I tease her, bring my mouth close to hers, let her come to me, then dart away at the last moment, only the briefest of touches. She hates me so. I rub my nose over hers and she follows suit, heads shaking as we push our tools of sense against one another's. I sigh so deeply. Hold her to my chest, buried, cuddled, curled into me, arms around my neck still. Breathing in my all. Playing with the back of my neck, up to my ears, staring at me while I look on in the distance, aware, smiling. She smiling, laughing. I laughing. I look on at where I'm taking us. The horizon. Of sandy shores and skies so high, now black with a sprinkle of precious stones. She kisses my neck, again and again, for longer and longer.

If only they understood what true pleasure could become of it, yet they use it for other means besides, keep it out of reach, against the rules. This is the power I spoke of, the power it highlights within. It is an adrenaline shot to the soul, making that power dance and glow. All from the tree of life, its power fading through my lungs. It is what we are, what we came from, it defines us. It captures the truth from the lies, everything born hateful that arises from jealousy and greed. No need to be afraid. Because everything we want, everything is allowed, and we have all the time and freedom to do it. So we will remain stuck in this restrictive proxy of a world, these silly three dimensions. Not given the chance to rise up, to evolve, to learn the truth of everything that lays within the higher dimensions. A pure, single mind, connected in this separate place. It is made of everything we know, every bliss, all the secrets hidden within our minds. The tree of knowledge revealed. Pure awareness of the reasons for everything, with all our power, we discover all.

Dear little temptress. The breaker of chains. My knight so charming. Why do you taste so much better? Why do you sound so much sweeter? Why do you feel so much finer? Why do I feel so much more everything? The devotion of such verve and fervour. That urge, that emoting desire. Crying, thieving, surfing. Layered with such innocence, that I live to destroy, to transform the caterpillar into the butterfly. That power, to enable such change, to push off the mountain, the only time we ever feel like God.

I'm learning to control beauty. To grasp it in so many ways. To achieve the greatest hit, by combining, by using, by breaking it free. Delight in every sense. My nose devoured by the fragrance of the tree. My mouth tasting such lush ambrosia, sparking a million buds and more. My ears raving in emotive harmonies of the varied, edited sounds we make. My body touched in the warmth of that close to me, in all ways, sweet regard. My mind absorbing the power of the tree, as it treats my brain to the of perfection and pure feeling. My dick stroked in such creamy nirvana, a high on high. Indescribable, sharp light, exhilarating ecstasy. Evolutionary orgasm.

I wish to drop into a world made entirely of cushions.

We build and we build. Combine to become greater, more powerful. Transform beauty into our play thing. Cheat the system. Exploit the rewards we were given in exchange to drive the carrying on of life and making it as strong as possible. We extract all the energy, the power and we liquidate it, inject it, become so seraphic, so divine. To be God is to be eternal reward, eternal power, eternal pleasure.

Non-stop jazz. Waking it. Sleeping it. Living somewhat in between. Life is far away. This endless journey of love, of peace, of being immortal the only way possible. By living every single moment completely. Of experiencing beauty enduring. Slowing the clock. Using the resources we were provided so very effectively.

And if I close my eyes, shut off one sense, I feel myself less than I am physically. I am only mind. I feel the power, I can play with it, that solid, liquid gas that is light, that is dark, that is fire and wind and earth and water. I feel the vibrating swarms of nerves so totally. Feel nausea and vertigo. Feel so completely, fantastically lost.

Now I am reminded of parks by the river. Of this is all yours and three wheeled bikes and sex with the moon. That was after. And yet it was still summer.

Haunted by a life I should have lived. Indie and long hair and teenage living. A life unsprung. Of firsts years ago and perfect circles.

Up the hill in Cuzco. In the jacuzzi. In the house. In coffee shops and treehouses. In the back garden and in the trees of parks. In halls and rooms and alleyways. Now here. A pitter, a patter, every now and then. Now it means so much more than just courage and friendship.