Capricious

57 - White Knight

"Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love."
- Gabriel García Márquez

Another appearance in this world of theirs, becoming mine without a second glance, all feeling so gloriously warm, and strategic wisdom my crown. Playing games of speed and skill, fun to which I reign, slap-cup and beer pong, moving between them all, ever some more excitement to be found. Playing silly and flirtatious games, prancing foolishly through my flashes, drinking on until my mind is lost. Then on to the club, dancing conservatively in my old age, a lovestruck friend hanging off of me, losing everyone and finding some, all happenings lost within the music. But then in retreat I come upon her, an unsettled look upon her pretty face, riding in to save her, and stealing her from harm. Settled in my arms, I stroke her shivers away, through the night we go, with the best of intentions, to the warmth of my abode. We know what is to come, though neither of us allude to it, and as her shy demeanour washes away, she gives herself to me. Coming together so quickly, those hypnotic green eyes drawing me in, her arms around my neck, delicately wet kisses with the perfect amount of tongue. Scrappy sex in our drunken state, with her mouth-watering breasts and tight pussy, bodies crushing together, making that beautiful face of hers writhe in pleasure, on and on and on. There's something about her, seeming so adorably seductive, and as we lie together, I know I want more of her. Glancing at her as she sleeps, for I can't seem to do so, so soft, so peaceful. Her petite rouge lips, a dash of freckles, she's drop-dead gorgeous, with a scent so divine. We lie through the morning, and I savour every moment, letting her know how much I like her, her sexy sweet voice music to my heart. And before I know it my heart has moved on, for her.

Something so magical about that night, in constant dreams of her mousey look and sweet smile, she's so precious. Still I taste her on my lips, still I smell her on my skin. And yet I know nothing about her, and yet I can't contain my desire for her.

A happy daze, taking things slow and simple, the sun arriving to scorch me with bliss. Ever in a rush, finding newer lives within this life, more work and yet more play. Hilarious coincidence boosting me, walking bigger, gaze higher, with an air of confidence, numerous successes crowning me as a king in this world, only after all this time. Floods of dopamine showering me, upon contemplating these moments of living pleasure. Just feeling awesome, and being so.

How am I so into her? Why does she hang on my insecurity? Our unfinished business, or maybe too much my type? The fear again that I'm not playing right, because I want this too much, for this is the level I have set myself, and to lose it all now would kill me. Strange how sudden desire shifts. I know she's infected me, from our first moments together I knew, affectionate and ashamed, her signals so bright yet so confusing. We hinge on nothing, and perhaps that is where my fear lies, I don't even know her, and yet I'm infatuated beyond reason, in constant fear it may all disappear so suddenly, if I am nothing to her at all.

A typical show, common symptoms and effects, it seems I'm still such a fool. Every action becoming self-conscious once more, because it's my subconscious that's in love, because she has a grip on my soul. Any logic replaced by a capricious array of feelings, I don't know what I'm doing, moves too fast, too sharp, or maybe not at all. After so many sexual wanderings it comes to this again, maybe these worlds shouldn't collide after all, I can never move between them it seems. Nothing makes sense, and now I've lost her, and I'm crushed, sick, sullen, even while riding high. What changed? I shouldn't be letting this get to me, and yet I do.

Intimate to the end, so ends my brief love affair, with a shooting star.