Capricious

66 - Costa Rica - Pura Vida

"I want to see the world. Follow a map to its edges, and keep going. Forgo the plans. Trust my instincts. Let my curiosity be my guide. I want to change hemispheres. Sleep with unfamiliar stars and let the journey unfold before me."
- Dorothy Sanders

The days are longer here in the city, the sheer weight of it taking toll on my mind, despite being so bright I feel a little lost within all this, a purpose stolen under chaos with little in the way to accompany me, my mind alone can only solve so much after all. And so I throw myself into stories of the Renaissance, into the learning of language, and into the vibrant history of the country in which I perch.

And so it begins, in a way. A while of nothing followed by a harrying blitz of new people. Finding myself diving into chances as they spread around me, the sparkle in my eyes and tune of my song spreading like wildfire. Yet with each new connection forged, losing pieces of myself, it takes a toll on my mind, telling me to run and yet I stay, dying in specks of solitude. Ever a chance for anything to happen, yet even given time the world I find myself in seems less friendly to my soul. As more and more becomes our squad, I lose track, forgetting what are spaces and what are not, feigned questions and moments of silence haunting my ideal of how this should be.

My multitude technique can't work its way into this, the desire to take some time alone for my social side to breathe. I'm taking in all I can, forging relationships of the future, yet ever on the edge, a guest star whatever the track. Yet I do not mind, I am comfortable regardless, just waiting for an opportunity to shine.

The papery texture reaches my lips, I inhale, let it filter through my body, and so quick I lose myself. My mind distanced from the rest, losing myself from moment and time, a group out of my favour as I attempt to play the field. And yet I find myself warming, contributions and tantalisation steering me into something else, for there is no need to envy the lives that take more, we all have our own adventure to play.

Reggae music on the bus ride, wandering through extravagant buildings so divine, fireball shots deep in the club. Topless bodies forging lasting structures from sand and dust, the heat and sweat pushing us harder, together in a construction camaraderie, both leading the pack and following suit, finding myself capable of more than I ever had the confidence to believe.

Loosening in a tired embrace, melting into the world in roars of glory, falling around comfortably enough, a grey adventure loosely sparkled with green. Sifting through those I meet, shallow relationships afloat with respect, and then those more intense by the collision of minds and lives, sharing something more. It fills me with strength, and more of myself is set free.