Capricious

64 - Castle in the Clouds

"I think the key to great art and great artists is to just fully be yourself and not be scared of that, and be the extremes of your personality. Show the extremes of your personality and embrace the imperfections. Embrace the things about yourself that you might not like."
- Kyle Thomas

Sky of dusty gold, the furnaces of dusk boiling through the clouds, smoke wispering from our lips, fading gently through the air. This is how we roll, a rebellion shared for all my shades of life, we reign without fear from what we have become. And so with an arbitrary education at its end, the door to that final castle closing, an exhausted mind so underwhelmed, I sprout at new sources to sharpen my brain. An edit of uncertainty with this grand tale I play, wondering what may become, the reports from my mind collected, charging what I should let lie and feeding the desire of my inner senses. An exponential growth of maturity, all plagues of the mind left far behind, dreams of a dying sun and toxic rose left to wilt and die with demons dark, having built myself to this. I live stronger and surer, my theory of everything gaining strength, this sanest of mind frames, no matter what any intruder may demand of me.

Within the political storms that fester in reality, my beliefs refined and justified build into a front, ready to be shouted and opinionated, ashamed of such mass ignorance that threatens to devolve us. Why should things be this way, have we progressed all this way to come to this, to be broken by the fringes of intelligence and the remnants of generations past? The system is broken. As our government drains the life from us, such arises furious dissent for change, the rise of ghosts of far left and far right take heed, and our beautiful centre is thrown even further out of reach. In this here new world, what more can we gain from wise heads that don't know it, or from the products of past mistakes that cannot see beyond their own resentment? We have caused irreparable damage, grown too far ahead of ourselves, ever threatened by challenges more emphatic than the last, all in this unknowing pursuit that is so instinctive. I almost want to throw myself into the fray, to play this game and share the truths that most are blind to, this skill to rise above these petty squabbles and form solutions to solve problems for good, and dream upon the world it's very future. Through my bridges of understanding I might fix the holes in this broken democracy, for who better than one at the centre of humanity in all its forms, alas I fear I am not ready to change the world just yet, but in such ignorance, I can still dream so bright.

Intoxicating to lose ourselves from life for a short period of time, to let go and let chaos take control, and open ourselves up to pleasures we may have otherwise never had the chance to experience.

In the collision of different worlds does rise an acute sense of awkwardness, different rules are at play, our allegiances are tested, and so we become the safest version of ourselves to compensate.

How free it is not to care what others think.

Creamy clouds glowing in the dawn, great bellows of wispering white, shimmering and floating over lands scorched by the human race. The curving horizon fades into the distance, from this mechanical bird high in the sky I am audience to, this great being of a world so wise and yet so young. A deep feeling rushes through me, as if though in a drunken state, my head dazed, my insides churning like butter. Being ripped from the world with such desire, part sleepy exhaustion, part glorious anxiety, ready to be swallowed up in the beautiful chaos of another world once more, a feeling which has become so familiar, and yet doesn't pain me at all. Travelling the globe, another place ticked off the list, needing so little now to fall away. This magnificent side-effect of being a daydreamer, living beyond measure, to encounter worlds and people and feelings most could barely imagine. I'm addicted to it, to the journey, to the life, to change. Exploding with excitement, surging with delight, my soul dances with itself, and I live.

The past is merely fiction, all a figment of our own imagination, a story that constantly changes, the present ever fading away. No wonder then why we attempt to preserve it so.

I think in relationships, we must get over the fact that we can be attracted to other people. It is foolish to blame each other for what is purely instinct. Just accept, and be honest, and trust, and enjoy. Relationships should be about something deeper after all.

It's because you know that being completely yourself, saying and doing and being without restraint, being completely open and honest and natural, that it doesn't matter to her, she just admires you even more.

These journeys between destinations, limbos from reality, perhaps that's why I love them so, a break from all to be completely free, a constant period of change, with the simplest of instructions to follow, all that's left is to fall into the moment. To merely watch the world go past, no contact with your life or responsibility, an ode to music and books, writing and coffee, daydreaming and discovery, for there is nothing else to do. I feel free.