𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 | ͏reddie

11

Eddie feels completely numb. He stares down at the dinner displayed in front of him with no expression, twisting his fork into the pasta as his mind wonders away again. It must be a noticeable sadness as Sonia doesn't hesitate to question her son about his sudden change in personality.

Discreetly, she places down her knife and fork and picks up the small notepad and pen from the desk beside her. There's always a notepad and a source of ink in every room, just in case Eddie doesn't feel like talking that day or is having a hard time concentrating on people's lips.

She starts to write on the paper, catching Eddie's attention and making him sigh quietly at his food. He watches as his mother pushes the note towards him on the table.

You know you can talk to me, Sweetheart.

Eddie reads the message scrawled in curly italics. He quickly feels a lump rise in his throat. His mother can be unbearable at times, but she is human, and Eddie knows better than to hold his emotions in. He falls into a dark pit of anxiety that even his medication can't fix. Therefore he knows what he has to do to overcome this.

Slowly, he picks up the pen, lowering his shaky hand to the paper and inhaling carefully. He takes his time to write the correct words to explain how he feels. And he knows that his mother won't approve of every word.

After a few moments of precise writing, Eddie places the pen back onto the table, skimming his eyes over every word he has written, as a final check, before pushing the paper back towards his mother.

I fell in love with someone and they made me feel like they loved me back. Then I caught them with someone else, and I told them that I loved them.

Sonia reads the writing, a pit forming in the bottom of her stomach. She can almost feel the pain radiating from the words her son has written, and quickly she feels powerless. There's nothing a mother can do to stop their child feeling the way they do, it makes Sonia feel completely helpless.

She lets about a small sigh before writing again, and pushing the message back across the table.

What happened once you told them this?

Eddie stares at the words feeling tears prick his eyes again. Today marks an entire week since Eddie's heart was completely shattered, and it still hurts as much as it did at the time.

He left.

Eddie lets a single tear fall onto the paper before dropping the pen and covering his face to hide the tears. Sonia watches her son with worried eyes. She's not seen him this upset for a long time, so when she pulls the notepad back and reads the paper it's not surprise that Eddie is completely heartbroken.

Eddie replays the events in his head and still wonders what he could've done to make Richie love him back. He's never felt so alone and yet he knows only one person can cure the empty feeling in his heart. He wants to cry in frustration because he can't help but feel that he is all to blame.

His eyes need a break, feeling dehydrated anyway, which means he can't even cry anymore, which is more frustrating because it feels like something is being taken from him again. The ability to express the hurt he feels deep inside, and he stop thinking that it was all his fault.

Maybe it's because I'm deaf.

I'm too quiet.

I don't look like the other teenagers.

I'm useless and annoying.

Sonia takes her son's hand from his face and hold it tightly across the table, watching as he breathes shakily from not only sadness but fear of how she will react. However much to his surprise, she does not care that Eddie has just confessed his love for a boy, instead her only focus is on helping her son get through this.