Attitude Problem

Thirty - Six

Nassiah

    "Ion got time to do that shit Donnie" I explained as he was telling me his plan to get Lock.

   "He held a bullet to your head- make time, we can't keep this nigga alive" he said as I passed him the blunt, I brushed my waves in the mirror thinking for a bit what to say next.

    "Let it play out" I finally added

  "I'm not- it's gonna end up with you dead" I scoffed and looked at Donnie through the mirror, he was being deadass.

    "Okay so we can talk about this tomorrow- I got places to go" I added and he passed me the blunt and continued to start roll up.

    I hit it sitting on the bed, Alonso was serious about this date shit. No funny I never been on one- I mean when I dated females I ain't really date them, and I ain't wanna treat my hoes better than the other I ordered dominos and a cab for all them thots.

   "Where you going? Do you not get that you got a group of people who want you dead  and one nigga who might have the balls to try" he stressed before finally sealing the paper.

   "Chill on me, I'm not worried about it" I said as I continued to smoke.

    "That's the problem- you finna atleast he strapped up?" He asked I side eyed him "Mane it better be worth your head" he said as he litt the blunt.

   See he was maybe right about the gun, but than again I know if I got it- I might use it. My trigger fingers had increased in the past couple months- but the adrenaline of dropping a body and doing real illegal shit was addicting to me- the best kind of street nigga is one who don't care about living- they usually the most reckless and ruthless another reason why so many people in the streets wanted to kill me- nobody couldn't but even if they did I probably wouldn't care.

   "I thought you was finna put this shit behind you, when I was locked you was sounding like you really was done with the streets- and after your boyfriend got shot you got revenge I was sure of it"

   "Don't be sure about shit- it's the game you know I love playing that shit"  I informed him he exhaled before hitting the blunt before I passed mine and he passed his.

    "But your life Nas? You don't really wanna run these streets do you?" I laughed at the words that just came from his mouth.

   "Hell no- I just don't like being disrespected, but this shit with Lock interesting  as hell- fun almost" I said truthfully.

   "you are a crazy ass bitch, just know I got your back through this shit. I just can't carry your casket yet" he said looking me in my eyes I nodded exhaling a bit smoking coming out from a previous cloud.

..........

   I wouldn't admit I was nervous as hell, Alonso? I was unpredictable maybe but he was unpredictable in a different type of way.

  Lo😳
And you betta not be high

  I ashed out the blunt shit. I had to do something to calm my nerves, everyone been calling me out about how I'm not acting on my feelings - talking to me like some bitch so now I gotta do this. But this real scary, maybe scariest shit I ever done. I kept myself closed off for many reasons- rejection, I tend to have a lot of demons, it never would be worth it I don't see myself changing- where exactly am I gonna go in life? A shootout is easy - I knew I was either gonna die or make it in that moment- Getting attached to someone? Trusting someone? Only nigga I trust is Donnie, only female would have to be Tash- sure me and Mac grew up together but it's more- I'm looking out for you, I ain't finna let you look out for me. He wouldn't have a clue- I don't need him too. He just needed to go to college and get the hell out of here.