Attitude Problem

Forty- seven

Nassiah
A week later

  "You look like shit" I said to Alonso as he came up to the front desk in the shop.

"Thanks" he responded as he started reading the papers he had to sign. I was getting real tired of Keem not being here I could hardly keep my own career from tanking if people keep asking my questions- I expanded from just the freezeria to the cheese joint too and I keep almost burning my food messing with these bozos.

       "And your girlfriend called me saying you ain't been sleeping" I added and he kept reading before waving off what I just said. "So I asked your sister and she said your birthmom died in a few days." I started and I saw him freeze for a bit before his eyes kept scanning the page. "And you got me worried about you" I finally said and he looked up at me- he was exhausted I could tell. He barely spoke ok recently and always looked like his mind was elsewhere and he won't talk to me about it, I was concerned. "Alonso I'm fucking speaking" I added getting fed up with being ignored.

     "I'm reading something babe" I smiled a bit at the words it caught me for a moment, so last week after I got out we went on another date- and we became official you could say. I never thought we really would due to us being different and me constantly feeling like I'm gonna ruin his life. But now I can beat people up for even looking at him- well I could if I I wasn't trying to better myself. I was a hothead and He was well the smarter out of the two of us you could say. He didn't do anything irrational and he was polite. The boy heart was bigger then his dick and he never kept stuff from me or lied so I figured I just had to be a better person for him.That was hard as shit, my natural response was irrational .hell I never even had rational thoughts if I'm honest. And my fist usually end up swinging so I had no clue how to be a better person. I've been hanging around Maurice wack ass to try to help. I haven't beaten him up yet so I'm guessing I'm doing good.

"Don't worry about me Pa, I'm fine I just miss her ya know? I just can't sleep recently because I just see her when I close my eyes all that shit" he responded I nodded I had no reason not to believe him and my mom sadly was very much alive so I couldn't understand what he was feeling.

"Okay. Sounds like you need a blunt or seven" I added and he didn't turn down the idea he just continue writing the paper he was once reading. "Or maybe you need to talk to your sister? Maybe she understands"

"How you feeling? Ya face feeling okay?" He asked moving my chin so he could see the scar that was left. I got my stitches removed yesterday and I could finally get rid of them shits I was about to pull them out anyway.

   "I'm fine" I responded and he nodded slowly sending a quick kiss on my head.he mumbled something but I could hear so I let it slide.

   "You finna come over today?" He asked  as he started on the next paper. Stitches out? Oh I'm coming over.

"Yeah but I'm trying to better myself and hitting a women ain't bettering sooo" I added. I let that bitch slide to much. I get she known Alonso longer but she acting like nobody good enough for him- like sure I'm not but I got him somehow mind your fucking business. It doesn't help that they were a thing before- sure maybe he's gay now but I seen a girl walking down the street with a fat ole ass and I remembered when I was eating pussy real fast so you never know.

    "She got a date or something tonight- you can continue on your self care quest" he mumbled. I haven't been in the streets in a long ass time and I didn't miss them but I wanted locks head. I'd go to jail for that shit when I see him I'm killing his ass. Donnie dropped two of his homeboys last week. I don't get how Lock isn't noticing something by now or atleast the cops but then again He had lots of known enemies. But the cops were gomnabe sniffing around soon- another reason why I wanted to help. Donnie got two more bodies to drop before he even thinks about Lock-I swear if he killed him without me imma kill him.

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I walked into the trap and things got sort of quiet. Von looked up and smiled a bit at my presence. "Shit I thought you woulda never came back" he joked as I dapped him up. I scoffed as I kept walking to the basement. "Yooo" I called and I heard a few shuffling and then saw Donnie counting money.

  "What you doing here ugly?" He asked "and did you check on Mac?" He asked I nodded. Stupid stupid Mac who can't come outside and is to good to sneak out. Not like his fathers ever home be always at the damn doctors or maybe with some bitch who knows.

    "Mane you not finna let me in on the plan? That's real funny movements" I said making someone move so I can sit down. "And you know I'm bout to step out this shit- let me go out with a bang" a few laughters filled the room and I waved them off.

   "You stepping out- yeah I'll believe that when I see it. You step out and come back" Donnie added "but I hope you really do this time,homeboy know you down here?" I scoffed at the audacity. Alonso ain't own me.

    "He gotta know everything I do?" I questioned and Donnie shrugged a bit before lighting the blunt behind his ear.

  "Y'all find something to do" he said and like ants around a piece of food they scurried up the stairs. "You ain't hear this from me— but I heard that boy love you" he started I laughed at that a bit. Yeah sure we had something going but Alonso wasn't dumb enough to fall in love.

    "Don't fuck with me, that boy don't just love anybody" I added taking the blunt. He shrugged

   "That's what I heard, but maybe I'm wrong but I doubt it I never am" he added once more.

   "And wear you hear that shit from? The fuck?" I said entertaining his little bullshit.

  "Alonso" I ashed the blunt and shook my head. Alonso wouldn't say that shit - he couldn't love me Ian have no loving qualities. I was barely even good enough to be homeboys boyfriend now everyone wanna throw love in it.

   "Whatever Mane" I added smacking my lips and he grunted .

   "You ain't never gonna believe nobody until you believe you deserve love. Boy you ain't never did anything not to deserve it"

   "Are you fucking dumb? Are you an idiot- I can't even list the number of bodies I dropped on one hand and I'm 19- You think I deserve happiness when I that shit away from people? I've been doing this. Someone finna want revenge" I stated Donnie waves me off.

   "You the craziest mother fucker I know- but wasn't because you ain't know better that was ya pain. Let ya pain go homie. It's finna destroy you if you keep it up"
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Ion think y'all understand how hard it is to not post all my chapters once I wrote them ☹️