Attitude Problem

Nineteen

Nassiah

      I think Alonso is actually trying to eat me now. The worst thing I could've did was not turn down the accusations of me actually might liking him, but it's more that I don't think I really do. Sure I don't want them other niggas around him but Vernon made sense he did steal from me, I guess Mason ain't do nothing to me- but He did try to tell my business so maybe that's why I don't like him; but I also did want to kill him that time I seen him through the window,
     I think about Zo a lot, but I be thinking bout How Donnie is in jail that make me gay for that?
     Sometimes I notice he looks good and sometimes I check for his print in his sweats- but that don't make you gay do it?  I mean maybe my brain just tweaking.
    Nah you can't be gay Nassiah, but it did take you a minute to get hard after Alonso left and I called that shawty.  I shook the thoughts away from my head I was at work I didn't need to be thinking this faggot ass shit.

    At times like this I needed Tash, if her and Alonso weren't so close I probably could've talked to her about this, Tash doesn't really care what you like or do as long as it's not life threatening and well self harming. But she's a traitor I can't tell her shit because than she's gonna stop telling me secrets Alonso tells her if she knows I might like him. I doubt it I think I'm over thinking the whole thing. Me gay? Yeah that's a bit of an outreach. Alonso probably talk me into it so he can I don't know add me to his list of niggas he turned out? And I'm not about to be under Vernon on that list his punk ass.

   "You ain't listening to me or something I'm talking to you!" My uncle yells I zoned back in and than look around exhaling as i was only zoned out for 10 minutes and it was only 10:10 it's still a long time till this bitch ass nigga gonna let me go home.

   "Mane stop yelling in my face it's early" I said pushing him back a bit my uncle only rolled his eyes.

  "Nassiah you need to make up with your cousin he thinks you hate him" My uncle Keem starts.

  "I use to beat him up all the time, why is he acting like a bitch now?"

  "You just punched him in the face, he said you wasn't even arguing he thinks you're pissed and hate him- so please talk to Mac when he comes in today yeah?" I rolled my eyes and he smacked the back of my head he's lucky I didn't punch his George Lopez looking ass instead of his son.

  "Yeah imma talk to him damn, you wanted him not to be in the streets but instead you raised a bitch congratulation" I said as he walked away my uncle only flipped him off.

  "Just stop punching him and apologize Nassiah"  he called before slamming the door to the office. My eyes roamed over on Alonso who was doing some niggas hair, I licked my lips studying him for a bit before the door opened making my eyes go the other end of the shop and there stood a scared looking Mac. It seemed as Alonso and Arnold's eyes met mine at the same time I rolled them because out the corner of my eye I saw two heads snap.

  "Marquees come here" I called and he seemed like he didn't want to move, "if you don't come here imma beat cha ass"  I warned as he was already making me mad,I got to much on my mind to worry about Mac imaginary beef we got. He always use to get me in trouble for beating him up then come right back next to me trying play like the fuck kind of twisted shit. Mac finally slowly made his way over to me and he was just looking.

  "Ian gonna punch you again" I started and he calmed down a bit. "Ian even mean to I'm sorry Marquees, you really was just inna wrong place at the wrong time talking bout the wrong thing" I said with a small shrug.

"Wait- So you punched me because of Alonso and his white boy?" He asked and I felt myself wanting to punch him again.

"No I punched you because you got in my fucking business and you're doing it again" I started he only rolled his eyes and kept talking.

"No no you said wrong place wrong time, you just saw Alonso get out of the car of the white boy car and I was talking bout a date than you punched me" he started having this goofy grin like he just cracked the code.

"Mane you're fucking chatting walk away before I punch you again" see but he kept that doofy grin on his face.

"No no, that means you like Alonso, he turned you out- which means yo-BINK this time he pushed me back a bit but this was about to become a real ass fight. There is no way I'm letting those words slip out of anyone's fucking mouth.

"Marquees I said keep your fucking mouth shut" I started as he held his cheek. He put his hands down this time.

"I get why you're mad- but if we cou-BINK I hit him again.BAP he smacked me, I really needed to teach this fool how to fight.

"Nassiah just hear me out" he said dodging my next punch.

"Aye aye aye someone not gonna break them up I'm giving a dude a line up!" I heard Alonso yell.

"But you do realize your anger only proves I'm right, and if I'm right why are you punching me?" He asked and I just pushed him back.

"Mind your mother fucking business Marquees you fucking here me? We ain't 10 no more your dad ain't gonna save you - imma beat your motherfucking ass" I said leaning over him I felt someone push me back and it was Arnold doofy looking ass the office must be sound proof now because my uncle stayed in there.

I went back to my seat sitting down pushing Arnold's hands off of me. "Fuck off me pnb flop looking ass" from my seat over on the couch Marquees started cheesing. See but we he kept smiling I started thinking- if I wasn't gay why was I so mad? Maybe because I'm not fucking gay!  But then I looked at Alonso who had a toothpick hanging from his mouth as he finished the boy, I looked at his outfit his grey tracksuit with his Red Cross and his uptown's- niggas wear that fit all the time but he got me over here feeling sometype of way because he's wea- I looked back at Mac who was still cheesing. Than it hit me, but Mac must've noticed it hit me because his smile dropped.My anger was rising, I ain't bout to be no faggot. It was like my whole life flipped in 20 seconds and I came to a realization.

You like Alonso. He's a man. You're gay. Mac was right.

Sad thing Mac was right just had to be the last thing on my mind, so that's where all my anger went.I picked up the closest thing I had in my hand which happened to be my phone and aimed it at his head throwing it across the room he dodged so it hit where his head once was.

  "You got to be fucking kidding me" I heard Alonso shout probably mostly towards me but Mac already knew he was the target.

  "I wouldn't have said anything if you was gonna be this mad" Mac starts and I throw the next- a stapler.

  "What the hell is going on out here" my uncle said swinging the door open.Mac got up and as soon as he did I did aswell. He was thinking out his next move, but I was quicker than him I jumped over the desk and he let out a scream of a sort before running out the shop- stupid stupid him I do this for a living. Before they could stop me I was following him.