Attitude Problem

Fifty- two

Nassiah

   "I think we should go outside" Mac started again, he's been here for a day and was pissing me off. Talking about go outside and shit- I've only been inside for three days and is anything people should be happy I'm not terrorizing the streets- just my house.

    "I'm good" I responded finishing off another bottle before tossing it from my hand I pulled out my last paper cursing before opening my
Drawer and pulling out three backwoods- lets make it last.

   "Me and Donnie still aren't back together" Mac added as he plopped down on my bed. "But it's fine- he got full custody of his son Jr yesterday"  he added I nodded as I continue rolling up- everyone knew he was going to get Jr- his momma a crackhead. "Tash stopped by yesterday you was inna weed coma though" he added

   "I don't give a rats ass" I finally said as I went to light my blunt. "But continue" He exhaled trying to find something else to bother me.

   " you know- this ain't healthy"

"Least I'm not getting shot at" I argued back and he looked for something else to say- he didn't find anything so that was that. I held the blunt to my mouth watching the boy walk out of my room leaving me to deal with my thoughts on my own. I felt like I was over reacting but I knew I had to smoke it out- I'll be good in a week or so.

    "How do you even smoke that much?" Alonso asked I continue to roll as he sat on my bed watching me.

    "It's not even that bad, it's better then drinking"

   "Well to each their own- but atleast drinking is legal pa"

   "Have you ever did anything illegal?" I joked but he seemed to stop and think before nodding-

   "Yeah I stole some things for my dad a few times"

  "The cop?" I questioned he shook his head his mood shifting and that was obvious-  It made sense why he didn't like his dad but it only made him more interesting to me; here he was dealing with his pain completely different then I was. He was a peaceful and happy person unlike me who spit anger everywhere I went. I envied that.

      "What you thinking about? Got you dropping weed and shit" he said kissing my cheek I shook my head picking it back up and finished rolling. "You looked real good when you licked that shit- reminded me when you licked my dick" my face got bright red when he said that causing him to chuckle

     "It was one time" I muttered as he repeatedly kissed my face finding this amusing. He lucky he is who he is because I would've punched him for joking like that- but Alonso's comments didn't bother me that much anymore. I was trying to smoke but before I could put the blunt to my lips Alonso was kissing on them suddenly becoming more interesting-

  "Nassiah!" I snapped out of the memory to see a bright haired Tas'hania looking at me with worried eyes.

   "Yea?" I said blowing a cloud exhaling trying to smoke to forget was harder than to smoke to relax.

   "Get your ass in the shower and walk to the corner store with me" She grumbled "I need roll up " she added

    "After this" I said even though I had no intention on doing so, but it was much easier to make false promises than argue with her loud ass. She sat down on my bed looking around the room as she exhaled.

   "I'm worried about you Nassy" she finally said

   "Don't be" I responded dryly not wanting to have this conversation. Tas'hania was also the main one who wanted me with Alonso so I did hold a bit of anger towards her.

    "Well you just been in here what smoking and drinking? You don't even know The Who-

   "Mane fuck you! You always gotta justify what he do!" I yelled and she looked at me smacking her lips.

    "Nassiah don't even fucking start- I lied on oath for you countless of times to keep you out of jail! You were doing better! Happy! And you let it go" she argued back

   "He left me" I yelled as I put the blunt down. "I can't be hurt? I can't be sad?" I yelled "why do I always gotta be the bad guy! I did everything right this time!" She didn't know what to say to my words coming out my mouth- they filled with emotion but she wasn't really here to listen I could tell.

    "Okay so what do you want me to tell you? Fuck him? You don't need him? You're better off without him? We keep it a buck with each other so let me" she said quietly. "Y'all broke up- it happens it hurts,  so after you smoke ya last blunt and drink your last drink then have to face him at work then what?" She asked I shrugged

   "Ain't that I'm leaving" I added before lighting my blunt again.

   "To go where?" She asked raising a eyebrow "leaving for what?"

   "You heard my crackheaded momma to stay with my uncle wife for a few months, ion wanna be here right now" she scoffed shaking her head.

    "You one pussy nigga but you fragile right now so let me shut up" she started but that's what pissed me off-

   "Nah speak fore I light ya head on fire bitch"

  "You wouldn't be leaving if Alonso never left you- you stay running from ya feelings" she argued

    "At least I'm not bout to be no hood niggas thot for three years" I barked and she stopped talking. I should've never brought up Von but oh well- that's why he had a kid on you- twice hoe. "Can't keep a man headass" she rolled her eyes trying to avoid the clear hurt flashing through them.

    "Fine leave, you always do and I always let you come back but this time I hope you get locked up down there for life" she added standing up- "you wanna leave cause you hurt fine- but you'll be back realizing it was never that deep"

    "Even if I did come back ion need ya hoe ass! You wonder why ya ass stayed in the system cause nobody wanted you then and nobody want you now!" I barked and she walked out slamming the bedroom door. The anger I was holding down and biting my tongue from hurting her feelings for real was let out when I threw my ashtray against the wall breaking it.fuck Tas'hania I sure as hell didn't need her, I didn't need Alonso I didn't need anyone. Fuck these people. A small knock on the door was heard and Mac was behind it.

   "I'm sorry- she usually helps" he said quietly.

   "She picked her side deep ago- it ain't mine" I added exhaling as I hit the blunt.

   "I don't think there is sides to this- I also don't want you to go to New York" Mac added "what about me?"

   "Marqueez you going to college- and you'll be alright grow some balls" I confirmed he sniffed nodding as he sat at the end of my bed.

    "Yeah yeah- but Ian ever been that far from you- ain't nobody got my back like you do" he added

   "Well I gotta do what I gotta do- Donnie will be here" I passed him the blunt and he sighed taking it as he looked at it shrugging.

    "I don't think you should leave- Whose gonna have ya back?"

   "I don't need y'all niggas, y'all needed me"