Attitude Problem

Forty one

Nassiah
Thursday

"This is a fucking stupid idea" I said to Mac as I looked for a lighter.why would I agree to go to some family dinner? Oh I didn't. Mac told me he would pay me 50$ to go, easiest money I could ever make.

"I don't get why you didn't invite Alonso" Mac started as he looked for stuff to wear- on top of everything my mom was the one throwing the party.

"Cause I'm fucked up enough- he doesn't need to see the root of my problems" I argued exhaling smoke.

"I think you like him"

"Oh wow you think? Lock should be kissing Alonso's ass right now because he's the only reason that boy isn't dead" I mumbled but that only put a smile on my younger cousins face.

"He's making you good- let him" I mocked the boy as soon as the words left his mouth, more like another charity project soon enough he will get tired of trying to fix me.

"Why you always gotta be an ass? Better let him love you"

"This ain't love- mind your business you still hiding from Donnie" I said changing the subject I saw Macs face heat up real red- atleast we don't have to talk about me anymore.

"So what is love? You never got it before- Heaven ain't love you, you don't love these hoes. You wouldn't even be able to notice love if it smacked you in the face and it is. You better let him love you Nassiah- you deserve to be happy" He was going on and on for what? Love don't last- only a fool would be chasing after that fake ass shit. "And I can't be with Donnie until I sort my demons; also known as my dad" he said looking down a bit. "And I got excepted to penn state- that's states away" he said the last part quieter.

  "Mane that's exciting as hell! Why you ain't say nothing?" I asked passing him the blunt he shook his head like I expected but it's the thought that counts.

  " I can't just leave you here- or Donnie. What if y'all get hurt? Or you and Alonso break up? Or or you get Lo-

  "I'm a grown ass man I can handle myself- you needa go to college, you got all that knowledge use it" I said hitting the blunt on the ash tray.

    "Sure you can handle yourself but that's still really far Nassiah" I exhaled nodding

  "Well you need to go to some college- you to smart to waste it. But when you do go don't stay round here cause me or Donnie black ass. You need to worry bout you- we still finna be here when you come back trust" I said hearing my phone go off in the other room I got up walking out of Mac's room to find it.

  "Speak" I said answering it and I heard Tas'hania in the background than Alonso voice came through the phone.

    "You sure you don't want me to come?" I smacked my lips this nigga. "Cause we just really gotta unpack tomorrow Ian to busy"

"Alonso I'm fine- you don't trust a nigga or something?"

   "Nah I trust you, I'm just worried"

"You ain't gotta worry bout me I'm a gro-

"Yeah yeah grown ass man, but imma still worry bout you pa, come see me when you're done?"

"Damn you miss me already? Ian even get to lay it down on you" he let out a loud laugh through the phone.

  "You think that's ever gonna happen?"

"I know for sure, you finna be screaming ode like Nassiah stop- stop- stop" I yelled through the phone his laugh coming through.

"Alright bye pa  I - uh I'll catch you later"

I looked at the phone a bit before hanging up, this dude I swear-  understandable that he would try to come but it's not like imma kill my own momma- at least not with all them people in there.
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