Attitude Problem

Forty-Six

Alonso

   "Cause your acting like I'm still 15" I argued at Melanie who was in her room.

   "I'm just saying-he probably got you in then streets too and it's worse If you just join a gang but to do it for a boy?" She started "you know what imma let you do whatever- just don't cry to me when he leaves you high and dry for the next bitch and comes back with a baby" she finally said looking at me through her mirror.

   "He ain't finna do that - have faith in me that I know what the hell I'm doing" I yelled and she jumped at my sudden raise or voice. Anger- I unleashed anger I hid for years. Anger I thought was gone- anger at my dad for making me so hateful anger at my mom for knowing what her husband was doing - anger for her dying on us leaving us with him. Anger when I got adopted they took my mom again. Anger from things I couldn't fix, I couldn't stop. She only shook her head.

"Right but you're fine" she added I looked at her and she looked back. "I hope he's worth it" she added again I chuckled harshly at those words.

"Of course he is I love him" she smiled a bit letting out a small aw.

   "I just hope you don't get hurt boo." She added I walked out done with the conversation. She was usually always like this- that's probably why her and my sister got along. But you would think my OWN SISTER let it slide so she should as well.

    I went to my own room, thank god for Tas'hania or this wouldn't be finished at all. When I hit my bed it felt like paradise. My eyes drifted slowly closed

   "Damn Alonso I wanted some hits in" the soulless  eyes looking up met mine. The blood draining from his body leaked down the van that was covered in plastic. I just caught a body

  "Damn you a real saint now- I bet ya pops happy as fuck somewhere you did this before?" One of Vons crazy friends asked.

    "Never" I responded and Donnie exhaled

"Mane Nassiah finna fucking kill me- not once? Not one time?" He asked I shook my head my adrenaline still pumping.

   "Damn- first body always the hardest fucks you up" Von added.

"I ain't even finna tell him anyway" I finally spoke up. The whole van started laughing.

"Yeah right- Nassiah find shit out, what are y'all friends or sum?"

"I think they fucking cause I was there when Alonso Merked nigga Vernon- and if you guys just running around merking niggas for each other someone fucking someone" Von added my eyes kept going towards the dead body. I killed someone-

"Nassiah killed someone because I had to go to a birthday party once- ion think they fucking you know he hothead" the other one of Vons friends added.

I jerked up and saw Melanie in my doorway. "Are you okay? You're crying" She asked I whipped my face nodding. She stood there for a moment and then walked down towards the door that someone was at. Every time I closed my eyes I remember that night. This one was better than the last- my mother talking about how disappointed she was then my birth mom showed up comparing me to my dad- that was the other night, but sleep seemed over rated anyway. I did what I had to do.

"Your boyfriends back- he smells like marijuana" Melanie said walking past my door. Moments later Nassiah was walking in with red eyes and smelling like he smoked a half. I couldn't help but scrunch up my face but I was glad he was back.

    " why you look all like you seen a dead body" he mumbled taking of his shoes then sitting next to me on the bed.

   "Thinking- you ate before you came over here?" I asked laying backwards and he soon rested his head on my chest.

  "Mhmm, Donnie was acting a damn fool so I had to dip" he started "talking bout he finna kill Lock: knowing damn well I already want that niggas head" he added. I just listened looking for something to watch on t.v

   "I think you need to leave them streets alone"  his red eyes looked up at me and he nodded him placing the kiss on my lips and then instantly deepening of seconds after.

  "I'm gonna after I clean up this mess" he hummed pulling away. "You was crying?" He asked his eyes looking into mine.

  "I miss my mom" I responded truthfully he kissed my head once more.

  "Well I'm sure she's proud of you. You not out here dropping bodies and slanging drugs so you beat one statistic- don't have any baby moms so there's another" I smiled a bit as his attempt to cheer my up even though it only hurt my heart more. "I don't know if being gay is one- so we just not gonna being that one up" he said truthfully and I laughed a bit. Maybe I shouldn't tell him- right now he thinks of me as if I'm pure- he always says he's getting better and doing better for me. Than I go and kill someone- the words even going through my brain has me shivering. The worst part was it was a complete high- in the moment I didn't even realize what I did until it sunk in. That night I threw up- not that I haven't seemed a dead body before; I have hundreds of times. But I was the reason behind it this time. I really did that.

    "I'm proud of you if that helps any. Lord knows I would've been merked thousands of niggas. Especially cause I know you know how. You probably got better aim then me. Your self control is something I could never have" he added his red eyes looking around the room as I held him in my arms. It felt better knowing I could do so- Lock ain't never gonna hurts him again. I should just get past it. I mean it's not like anyone knows I did it. It can be something I die with.

.........

Y'all ain't got enough hope in my boy Zo, I think he can keep it from him
• The end of this book finna have you shook
• and ik y'all not really paying attention in school so here ya go