Million Pieces °Bastille Dan°

Love?

After talking to Armani...and mainly apologising for nearly two hours I decide to give him some rest. At least I know that Holly is okay.

Her story is kinda...really sad.

Ari told me in full confidence that I won't tell a single soul about it. He only told me her story to 'feel better about my own' or whatever that's meant to fucking mean. But I couldn't doubt him, or say anything negative. Not after the awkward dinner.

Holly grew up with mentally ill parents. Her father was a bipolar schizophrenic who never talked, and her mother was insane in every single way possible.

Apparently because they never had a normal lives before their diagnosis, the doctors never would've thought that they would've been...fucking. Plus they was only twelve. The facility apparently thought that it was sweet two very different types of people had a friendship.

They was children.

But nine months later, the facility they was staying at, noticed Holly's mother doubled over in pain cradling her stomach. She didn't scream or anything, she legitimately sung through her birth. Although of course she was in pain.

Holly was given to her aunt on her father's side. No one really accepted her apart from her parents who she regularly visited. Of course, to avoid the patients having another baby...they separated Holly's parents.

When Holly was ten she ran through security guards and stumbled upon her parents double suicide pact. With bloody wrists and broken mirrors.

Her parents would've been thirty years old...and she's eighteen. So fucking weird.

Holly was in the room long enough to realise her parents was smiling...especially her father. She never saw him smile when he was alive. Never.

That would fuck me up for life.

Holly is a smart girl...despite her parents being...not the smartest of all people. Instead of doing the inevitable and joining the only people who ever cared about her, she volunteered to work there and help other patients. She does charity work mainly, and organises monthly marathons for good causes.

But what am I doing?

Instead of being a compassionate human being and turning a mess into something beneficial...I find myself getting changed into some lingerie to please my fucking asshole of a husband.

We fuck better when we're pissed off. I know it doesn't make sense but it's a long story...

"What are you doing in there?" Dan bangs on the en-suite door while I hold my bump for a few seconds. I need maternity lingerie but I don't want to be a kinky shit and ask...what if I just made 'maternity lingerie' up? Then what. I'll get laughed out of Ann Summers!

I then gather enough strength to quickly to go the mirror and put on some make up and mess my hair up a little.

At least I don't need suspenders and that shit.

I admire myself in the mirror before nodding my head. I got this. I'm going to save our relationship. Us fucking is the best thing we have got as husband and wife. It's the only thing we can...share to ourselves and it's for our own benefit.

I then open the door while Dan looks at me confused. Although he doesn't come across as mad or pissed. I hope he breezes over this earlier. "Wow..." he whispers while I smile.

I want to make our marriage work.

"We need to be more intimate...maybe that's what our problem is?" Dan crosses his arms and smiles weirdly. It's like the perverted smile you just can't help doing when you see something that you like.

Sick fuck.

"I mean...okay." Dan shrugs.

"Okay? Babe. No. I need a little more than okay, tonight...and every other night for the past seven months have been challenging. We need to fuck like we mean it and not just because we have to because of the baby pact." I want to fuck because I want to.

It's not because I'm this horny bitch, no, I never feel that way. I just want love. I want to fuck Dan and enjoy it. "I agree...but after tonight and what you said about when we first met...I feel put off." My jaw drops open.

"Dan you know that I don't mean any of it, right? I was just jealous of Holly and Armani." Dan cracks a smile of uncertainty, so I take my chance and draw closer to him like a magnet.

So I put my arms around his shoulders while he holds the side of my bump. "We have everything we have ever wanted." I whisper while looking into his shimmering ocean eyes.

"Right here, under this roof..." I then find myself kissing his soft neck. Dan remains almost frozen.

"Let's take advantage of that, right now." I kiss his neck harder while Dan then pulls me closer. He hugs me, not in a sexy way, but in a loving way.

"Not tonight, babe." He whispers while I find myself crying.

"I love you...so much...but not tonight." He whispers pulling back for a second and wiping the tears out of my eyes.

"Let's just...get this shit off of your face and go to bed, okay?" I nod my head while a nervously laugh while Dan grabs my makeup remover pads from the side. I then sit on the edge of the bed while Dan helps me take everything off.

But for the first time...it's not because we're going to fuck. It's because he loves me.