Connections (F1 story)

Chapter Eighteen: Reservations

The driver took off his sunglasses and handed them to me to wear. Lots of media were still about. I trembled as I put on the shades. Besides, they were probably worth at least a couple of day's wages. I walked with my head down across the paddock. This gave me time to try and calm down, neither Paul nor Daniel said anything to me. Daniel swiped his pass on the motorhome door and it swung open, and I couldn't get in and sit down fast enough. I threw myself on the sofa and took off Daniel's glasses, placing them gently on the table.

"Thanks." I said, trying to control my voice.

"What's up, Saskia?" Paul asked me, deeply concerned. I looked a wreck, I felt a wreck. I was a wreck.

"I just had some news from home. My m-" I parted my lips and let the air channel out slowly before continuing. "My mum, she's had a stroke." Just saying those words felt like knives cutting through me.

"Fuck." Even professional Paul let his feelings slip. "When?"

"My Dad just called." I shook my head and stared at the floor, as my eyes went in and out of focus. Daniel stood opposite me with his arms folded, thinking.

"Look, I'll go and get Sam and Lizzie. I'll tell the others your day is done." He was saying his thoughts aloud. "Daniel, are you coming?"

He paused. "I'll wait here with Saskia." He looked back at me and I attempted a smile. Paul left and Ricciardo sat beside me. I raised my hand to my head and rested the weight of it on my arm.

"I just want to know that she'll be alright." I said.

"She will, if she's anything like you she'll be fine."

I had no idea what that was meant to mean, my brain was too tired to work it out.

He moved in closer and put his arm around me. A month ago I would have jumped out of my skin, but now he was less of a stranger. Something in my body still made me rigid and I refrained from moving.

"Saskia, it's fine. I know how you're feeling." I gave in and rested my head on his shoulder as he spoke. I didn't care anymore. I felt slightly awkward at first but there were too many other emotions swimming around my brain.

I gulped. "You shouldn't have to see me like this."

He sighed and looked as if he was going to say something but stopped. "Never mind." Was the reply.

---

When Paul returned he was with Lizzie and Sam and, Daniel had got up to pour us both a glass of juice. Sam immediately took Dan' place next to me. Daniel noticed, discreetly shook his head and pretended that it didn't matter.

"Okay, Saskia?" Lizzie then spoke.

"I will be." I attempted a smile. I felt such a pain from stopping everyone from working, and that meant prohibiting them from finishing early. "I'm fine guys, it was just a shock."

"Hey it's fine, it's tough when stuff like this happens. We're here, okay!" Lizzie comforted. I was glad I had another female friend on the road, she at least could half understand what I was feeling.

There was some more silence, and then the sound of my phone ringing broke it again. My Dad. Gingerly I pressed the accept button and held the mobile to my ear, moving to the other end of the motorhome.

"Okay, your mum is in the operating theatre now in attempt to disperse the clot." he said, slowly. Okay, they've found the problem- fingers crossed it was going to work.

"So..?" I asked cautiously.

"It's looking better than an hour ago but don't get your hopes up please, the doctors told me not to tell you anything yet but I had to tell someone." I wished more than anything to be with my parents again.