SEX ED (jikook)

Love you till death do us part

Jen(POV)
School finally ended I felt so weak that I was stumbling all the way to the gate.

Even 50 meters tops and I felt like I would faint, no wonder May left me I'm so weak.

I decided to take a nap before attempting to drive home, May always said that it was dangerous to drive when I'm sleepy and that she would hit me in the back of my head if I ever did it. She always looks out for me.

I walk a bit further and reach my car opening the door and falling into the back seat and pull my legs to my chest and lock the door before dozing off, now that I think of it when was the last time I fell asleep.

A few tears escape my eyes as I get consumed by the darkness.

Suddenly it's bright, really really bright. I cover my eyes and squint at the light I look behind me just to see blackness a slow gradient white to black.

I notice I'm on the floor kneeling tears running down my cheeks soft splatters of them hitting the ground being the only noise able to be heard.

I quickly rub away the tears and squint at the light my eyes gradually adjusting to the light. I start to see a figure along with another.

One was a moderately tall male looking shadow and the other was a female one I stand up and take a few steps closer the light now hitting their face in just the right angle to make their face visible to me.

I widen my eyes the beams scorching them but Im too unwilling to blink afraid the figures will disappear.
"May?"

She keeps on her poker face, looking at me blankly. I notice her hand against the other figures chest and when my eyes travel up they are met with someone who I never wanted to see again.

Aiden.

I clench my teeth and form my hands to fists, seeing his arm around her waist. Her hand on his chest like they were a true couple.

I can't accept it though I won't no way in hell!
I quickly lunge forward ready to throw my fist when May puts herself in between me and Aiden.
"May what are you d-
"Enough Jen can't you see I have never felt anything for you? I have chosen him, my Aiden he'll give me what you couldn't. I love him not you."

It all went right through my chest like a bullet. I gripped my heart in pain and fall to my knees the sudden impact causing a surge of pain to go through my legs. I let the tears flow freely as I shake my head.

As I open my eyes I notice the light becoming duller and look forward seeing the door slowly closing, I lunge up desperate to grab the handle when it completely shuts.

I take hold of the handle and shake it twist it, I bang on the door itself screaming but it's no use it doesn't budge, i drop to my knees and fold myself in half. Holding my hand to my chest as I scream endlessly until my throat becomes raw and my lungs give out. It's all black again.

I wake up crying my hands to my chest holding something in the same position as when I was in the dream. I open my hands to see the promise ring I wipe my eyes and let out silent sobs as I cradle the cheap item. That yet held so much value.

2 hours later~

I finally arrive home and drop myself onto the floor I can't get that dream out of my head. Maybe cause it was so real, maybe cause it happened.

I went into the bathroom and opened the cupboard, I took out my prescription pills that the doctor gave me.

Two days ago I felt so.. dead. I thought I was dying, my chest hurt like hell my head pounded and I couldn't stop throwing up.

When I went to the doctor she diagnosed me with sever depression. I haven't told anyone yet cause who have I got? I have no one, no one wants me no one loves me I'm just a walking burden.

I pop three pills the recommendation is two but I self diagnosed three since life's extra shitty. The pills have weird side affects, like loss of appetite, hair falling out and illusions.

But that's extreme, they mainly help me sleep since I haven't been able to, only when my body is completely exhausted am I able to sleep and even then it's only for a few hours or half an hour since I usually have bad dreams. Or memories.

I go to the living room and sit down pulling a pillow over my feet I take a deep breath when I hear a voice, I quickly open my eyes and there she is...       May.

I quickly get up and go to her but she takes steps back. She looks so pale though but she's radiating.

My conscience is screaming that's it's an illusion but I can't hear it over my pounding heart beat.

"Jen."
"May."
"Well you look like shit."

I gulp at her words and see her smile widen as she laughs. I chuckle with her and soon start to cough at the straining sensation in my chest.

"You know Jen. I left you for a reason."
"Yea for him no need to rub it in."
"No I left cause I knew you loved me and I just couldn't stand the fact of being with you. Your nice and all but no where near the person I want."

I start to tear up and she just laughs smirking.

"Your useless, fat, ugly and dumb like holy shit you work at a coffee shop! How stupid are you?"

The tears continue flowing as I just stand there and listen believing everything she's saying.

"You know what do the earth a favour do me a favour, if you really loved me you would just kill yourself!"

I nod furiously.

"Well then Jen show me how much you love me."

"Ok."

I walk back into the bathroom May following behind me I take out the pill box again and shakily open the lid putting them all in. Around 13 pills, I then take out another box for sleeping pills and take all that too, that's around 15.

I start running the water for the bath tub as I search the drawers for a razor. My eyes become blurry and I just rummage my hand around when I suddenly feel a sharp pain through my finger I pull my hand up and see blood. I smile as I put my hand in the same place and pull out a razor.

Now my vision has doubled and all I can see is May in the corner smiling brightly to herself. I weakly smile back at her tears brimming my eyes.

I take my trembling hand and turn off the water stepping in to the bath tub fully clothed. I take the razor that's in my hands and push it harshly against my skin splitting it apart crying out in pain as I do so.

I take the razor in my other bleeding hand and do the same. I throw the razor on to the floor as I see the clear bath water slowly become a deep red. I look back at May and smile as my vision begins to go spotty and my eyes begin to drop.

My head feels light and my body feels numb the water slowly becoming warmer as I bleed out.
"I love you so much May."
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I hope this wasn't to angsty, it hurt to write this but I kind of liked how it was dark I'm fucked up ok don't blame me😂💜💜 but anyways love you guys see you soon!! Q and A answers coming soon!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Love you please respond on skype😢😭💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️