I wiped my eyes and curled deeper into my bed. My phone rang again but I couldn't begin to think about speaking to him right now. I knew that I would ask him to come back and I couldn't do that.
Someone knocked on my door and I only cried harder knowing it was my best friend who couldn't help me. I dragged my feet across the floor and opened the door to reveal and puffy eyes, sobbing Zach.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and I understand if you need time but I can't just sit around and let you hate me because knowing that the only person I love more than anyone hates me is too much for me to handle," he sobbed.
"I don't hate you," I choked out.
"I take back everything I said. You are perfect and I love you, I swear I love you," He let out.
"It's hard to say I love you back. Because I don't know if I want to. But I love you."
"I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. I love you."
"I love you but I can't right now. I think you need to go."
Zach nodded before leaving me a alone once again. I lied on my bed and cried harder and harder. I told my friend not to come and she didn't fight it, making me feel even lonelier.
"I wish we never even dated! I don't even love you!" Zach shouted.
"Wait, wait I don't mean that," he immediately said as I sobbed while grabbing my things.
"No Y/n I'm so sorry. Please don't go, I didn't mean it," he said as he began to cry.
I stayed up all night, crying. The thought of Zach not ever wanting us to be together and not loving me broke me. I kept telling myself that what he said about taking it back was true but it still felt like a lie.
I thought about all of our memories. The smile that he gave me even when he felt like dyin', the nights where we fell apart in each others arms over stress, and being in his arms in Central Park. There was nothing else anyone could do or say because I just I can't escape the way I love him. And I don't want to, but I love him.
