if i can't have you // shawn mendes
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finn & millie (au)
"Damn it!" Finn called out in frustration, throwing his pen across the room. He snatched the piece of paper lying in front of him off the table, furiously crumpling it up into a ball. He threw it in the direction of the trash can, missing it by a mile. The ball of paper just landed amongst the others he had previously thrown that way and neglected to pick up.
He hastily shoved his chair back, making the most awful scratching noises, as it slid against the floor. He went over to the bay window, staring absently out at the familiar surroundings.
Toronto always provided him with the most amazing views, making him feel like he was somewhere far from where he really was, far away from reality. Today was different, though. All he felt in this moment, staring out at the city, was the same feeling one would have from staring at a vacant white wall in a dreary hotel room.
Such a beautiful sight was before him, yet he saw nothing special.
How could he marvel at such a sight when it wasn't what he wanted in front of him. The only view he wanted, he couldn't have. The brunette beauty, with the chocolate brown eyes and tiny figure that fit perfectly alongside his, wasn't here with him.
Here with him, the one place she belonged and she was nowhere near it.
Finn had been trying to write one line he could use in a song. Just one simple line that didn't make him think of her, that didn't bring back every incredible feeling she had ever ignited within him.
When he was with her, he felt so alive, so high on affection for her that he never wanted to come down. Now standing here alone in his apartment, he felt absolutely nothing. He was empty on the inside, the absence of her presence in his life having the greatest effect on him.
As hard as he tried, every word he had scribbled out practically screamed her name. No matter how much he fought to stray away from anything even remotely relating to her, his brain would somehow sneak the words right by him. He'd try out a completed line, only to find that it was all her.
Finn fled to the kitchen, grabbing a half empty bottle of vodka from the liquor cabinet. He unscrewed the cap, wasting no time in bringing the bottle to meet his eager mouth. He tilted his head back, downing as much of the burning liquid as he could.
As he slammed the bottle down on the counter, he was blindsided with memories he had wanted nothing more than to forget.
One late, late night, many months ago, the two of them stumbled into their apartment, both having had an insane amount to drink. They had went out with their friends for the night, not planning on getting this wasted, but things didn't always go as planned with them. That wasn't too surprising, given they were both wildly impetuous individuals. That's one reason they were so drawn to each other when they had first met.
Finn kicked the door shut behind them and the next thing he knew, his back was being slammed against it. He had only a second to prepare for the sudden attack of hot, messy kisses he was soon relishing in. He roughly tugged on her hair, her head tilting back allowing him to sneak a few nips at her neck. She wasted no time in bringing his mouth back to hers, their lips moving uncontrollably as one.
Once the hunger in them had been satisfied, they moved to the kitchen. Finn grabbed an almost entirely full bottle of vodka, placing it on the counter in front of them.
"Okay, one more drink then we move this party to the bedroom, what do you say?" His eyes were full of lust, while his mouth was grinning deviously. She looked at him with the same desire in her eyes, a teasing smirk forming on her face.
