thinking bout you // ariana grande
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mike & el
part 2
Dear Mike,
I miss you too. Sometimes I can't even make it through the night without crying because I miss you so much. I just feel all alone here without you.
I think about you every single day. I think about your smile, your laugh, the way you talk so softly to me, the way you rest your chin on my head when we hug, how warm your hugs are, how good of a kisser you are, how much I love kissing you...
I think about it so much.
I know I shouldn't. Joyce says it will only make missing you worse, but I don't care.
If I don't have you here with me, then I just have to think of the times that I did.
All those months did feel like a dream. We were so happy. I wish we could have those days back too.
I've still been reading the books you gave me, but it's not the same. The words sound so much better in your voice.
And watching movies is so boring without you beside me. Nobody else laughs at the things I do or when I don't understand something, I don't have anyone to explain it to me. And I definitely don't have anyone to cuddle with me or hold my hand if it's scary. None of it's the same, but I don't really watch much television lately anyways.
I don't really have anyone I can talk to either, like really talk to, the way I can with you. Nobody gets me the way that you do. I feel like they're all just afraid to say the wrong thing because they think I'll break.
But I won't break.
Well, I might break after writing you this letter...
I think I miss your kisses the most. They just make me feel so happy inside, like I can feel how much you love me just by the soft touch of your lips.
Oh! I heard one of our songs on the radio last week, I was so happy when it came on, but then it reminded me of that night you sang it to me, the night before everything changed.
I cried myself to sleep that night. I tried not to think about it, I really did, but I can't seem to control my mind these days.
Please don't tell anyone this, but I'm not happy here Mike. I feel so sad and lonely and it's always raining and I don't know where anything is. My room is always so cold and the floors creak so loud every time I get up in the middle of the night.
Mainly though, I'm not happy here, because you're not here.
I don't want to be miles and miles apart.
But you're right, we're alive and we do have each other. Always. If you're strong, then I can be strong too. We just have to remember that we will see each other soon and everything will all be okay.
I love you Mike.
El ♡
