half a heart // one direction
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mike & el
part 1
Dear El,
I miss you.
I miss you so much. I feel like every day that passes it just gets worse and worse. I was so used to waking up everyday knowing that I would get to see you and now that I don't get to, it sucks.
Being here without you doesn't feel right. It's like there's only half a bright blue sky outside my window every morning, while the rest is just dark and gloomy. It's like the world around me even knows that someone's missing in Hawkins.
I know it's safer for you there and I'm sure you're happy, but I can't help but wish you were here with me.
Will says you've been sleeping with my sweater, that ugly green one that you love so much. Maybe when it gets colder, you can wear it. I'm sure it will look better on you than me.
I bet Will told you that I'm not doing much better. I've been sleeping with the blue knitted blanket that you always kept on your bed. It doesn't really smell like you anymore, but it's still yours and that's all the matters. It makes me feel like you're here with me, in a way.
It's sad, I know. I just can't help it. I'm sorta lost without you. It feels like I'm missing half of me, like I'm here, but I'm not.
Sorry, I'm probably talking crazy and making no sense.
Well, blank does makes you crazy, so I guess I have an excuse, right?
Because I definitely blank you... I blank you so much. Okay, God, that was dumb. Pretend I didn't just write that.
It feels like yesterday we were sitting in the aisle at Bradley's, though. How did the time go by so fast?
It doesn't even feel like all those months happened before Fourth of July, before everything changed. They felt like a dream, a really good dream. All those months of getting to spend time with you. I don't think I had ever been happier. Those were honestly the best months of my entire life.
I miss getting to spend time with you El, I really do.
Watching movies with you, reading books to you, talking to you about anything that came to our minds, kissing you while all those love songs played in the background...
I miss all of it and I would do anything to have those days back.
I know that's not possible though, so I'm going to try to be strong and think on the bright side.
Even if we are miles and miles apart, at least we're both alive and we have each other... always.
We'll always have each other.
I love you.
Mike
