you didn't mean to say i love you

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i love you // billie eilish

mike & el

"So can we please just come up with a new plan because I love her and I can't lose her again!"

The instant those three words slipped from his mouth, everyone in the room wore a pair of wide eyes. They were shocked, as they should be. Nobody expected him to just blurt that out.

Mike quickly realized the words he'd said and was flooded with shock himself. He didn't mean to say it, really, he didn't. No way would he have planned on the declaration coming out like that, to all of them, in the midst of a desperate attempt to make his point.

Most importantly, he hadn't planned on admitting it for the first time to someone that wasn't El.

She was thankfully in the other room and he could only hope that she hadn't heard him. He hadn't planned on saying it, so he simply wasn't prepared for anything that would come along with saying it. He didn't know what her reaction would be and he'd rather not find out in front of all their friends, along with his sister, just in case it would humiliate him.

He had said it though. He had said the "L word" and there was no taking it back.

For awhile now, he's known just how strong his feelings for her were. They had only grown stronger as the days passed, as he spent more and more time with her.

He loves El and there was no questioning it. He loves her more than anything in the entire world. He loves being with her, talking to her, kissing her, holding her, everything about her, the list could go on and on.

She is the most amazing person he has ever known and he cares for her so much, which is the very reason for his sudden outburst.

He doesn't want her getting hurt and the rate at which she's continuously using her powers is scaring the hell out him. He's lost her before and it was the worst year of his life. If he lost her again, for good, he wouldn't be able to handle it.

Only now, in this moment, he was scared for a much different reason, because seconds after he had finished his yelling, the door to El's room opened and she walked right out.

He couldn't read her facial expression, she just had a sort of blank look on her face. She didn't say a word either and he could only watch speechlessly as she came closer to him.

El stopped when she reached where he stood, bringing her inquisitive eyes up to meet his.

Mike could feel his heart racing inside, as he nervously awaited whatever she was about to say to him, hoping it wouldn't be bad.

"What did you just say?" Her soft voice finally spoke, as she stared up at him with eyes now full of desperation. El heard what he said, but she needed to hear him say it again, to her. That's the only way she could make herself believe that it was real and not something she just wanted to hear.

"I..." Mike knew she had heard him. Why else would she be asking him with that unsure tone in her voice, like she couldn't believe those words had slipped out of his mouth? She heard him say that he loved her, so why couldn't he say it to her now. It was on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to be spoken aloud.

Maybe it was his nerves, afraid she wouldn't say it back, which would only crush him inside. Or maybe it was due to the audience they had around them, watching them both like hawks. Telling someone something like that was supposed to be special, something only for them two.

Did he really want to say it to her in front of all of them? He didn't, he really didn't, but then something happened.

He could see a hint of a smile spread on El's face, while her eyes still stared deeply into his. She gave him that look that she does so often, the look that warms his whole body, making him feel like he could explode at any second due to all the love that his heart held for her.

He suddenly gained a sense of courage, not caring about anything else except her.

"I love you, El." He breathlessly told her, with a wide grin growing on his slightly flushed face. El's face just so happened to match his, as they stared amazedly at one another. Mike went on though, needing to say everything while he had the chance. "I love you and I don't want to lose you again, I can't. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm trying to control you, but that's not what I'm doing. I would never do that. I'm just worried about you using your powers so much. I don't want you to get hurt."

El smiled lovingly at his heartfelt words, while tears inevitably began to form in her eyes.

"I really-" Mike started, wanting to explain himself further, but El had heard enough.

She grabbed ahold of the collar on his shirt to pull him closer, while leaning up to press her lips ever so softly to his. He kissed her back immediately, the words previously on his lips forgotten.

The kiss was short and sweet, but meant just as much to them as one of their music accompanied make out sessions. 

And those meant a lot to them...

"Mike, I love you, too." El happily admitted, her beautiful smile wider than ever. Mike's, of course, was the same, an overwhelming feeling of happiness rushing through him.

She couldn't help but lean up once more, kissing him again, so that she knew this was still real and not a dream that would fade away into nothing.

El pulled away, instantly throwing her arms around him. She felt his arms wrap around her, giving her that safe, warm feeling that he always made her feel when he held her close.

Their perfect moment of bliss was unfortunately interrupted by the sound of someone coughing. Clearly, it was only to make their presence known.

Mike and El both looked off to their sides, realizing that everyone was still standing there. They all had knowing smiles across their faces, after having witnessed such a personal moment between the two and were not surprised in the slightest at how it had gone.

They all knew that Mike and El had a connection that was far beyond the typical expectation for their age when it came to relationships. The things they had been through, the things they had seen, the things they had done for one another... It was clearly no surprise to anyone that they loved each other.

The two burst out into a fit of laughter, not caring that anyone else was around to see that. They were both too ecstatic to care.

They loved each other and nothing could ruin the wonderful feeling that had taken over them now that they knew it was something they both felt.

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