Harry's Diary #2

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Song: 30 Seconds To Mars – Beautiful Lie

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8th December

Dear diary,

He forgot. He promised and forgot. It wasn't difficult. One email – one cut. One day – one cut. This is easy. He ruined it. One email – one cut. I am... How? How... What am I supposed to do?... 91. I needed 100. Not 91. I need to do it, I must do it. He doesn't realize. I'm counting 91 cuts over and over again. I should have had 100 by the end. One email – one cut. He had no right to forget. How am I gonna do it now? I cannot but do it. I need this. Help me. I can't leave it like this. 9 days, 9 days left. I lack 9 cuts, but he forgot. I cannot. I hate him. He had no right to do that. I have to do this... But I can't without his emails. I need them. Why would he do it? I left room for the other nine. He ruined it. Now, I can't do it anymore. One email, one day, one cut. Do you understand? Without his mail – there's no day, and without a day – there's no cut. I need to calm down. I breathe. I have to do it anyway. Just somewhere else.

[...]

I would do anything to erase them. I don't want anymore. There were only 91 and there should have been 100. But I couldn't just leave them. Now I have to do only 8. On the thigh. I made a ninth on my hip. Only on the front, not the back. I couldn't do it in the same place. He ruined everything. I hate him. He promised to be with me until the end. He promised me. I hate him.

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