The Degradation

Chapter 24 - part two

Song: Seether & Amy Lee – Broken

***

I didn't sleep almost all night. I was so upset about what happened yesterday. It was unbearable to see him in such a state. All night it seemed to me that I could feel his sweat on me, hear him crying, see his pain. After he fell asleep, the nurse came. She injected him with something and I felt his body completely relax. She came back ten minutes later, helped me get up, and put on my shoes. I asked what she had injected him with, but she only said that she had relieved his condition and calmed him down a little. When I left there at 11:45 am, he was still asleep.

I think the hardest thing for me is that I am completely helpless. I would give anything to ease his pain, to take all his suffering for myself. But I couldn't do anything but watch him suffer.

Today I got up later than the alarm clock. It looks like this is the first time I'm late. It was almost 10 am when I stopped in the hospital parking lot. I quickly climb the stairs and approach my floor. I'm about to enter his room, but I stop abruptly. I see a blond guy appear in the aisle.

"Niall?"

He looks up at me and as soon as he realizes that it's me, he smiles warmly.

"Hi, Louis!"

"What... What are you doing here?"

"I came to see Harry."

I frown.

"But no one is allowed to see him."

"Yes, I know. But the doctor called me yesterday and asked me to come."

"Um, really?"

"Yes, he said Harry needed to see me."

"I don't mean to be rude, but why you?"

Fortunately, he is not offended. I don't understand at all what Niall is doing here. With what happened yesterday morning I completely forgot that the day before yesterday Harry had an appointment with his psychologist for the first time since his suicide attempt. I don't know why Niall is here and I know even less why I don't like it because he's a friend of Harry's and seeing him could probably make him feel good.

"The doctor told me that they talk a lot about my sister, I guess that's why I'm here."

Oops. And I forgot that he is Samantha's brother. Now I understand. Yesterday, Harry and I were talking about a book that he couldn't finish reading because of Samantha. Perhaps he told a psychologist about it.

"Does he know you're here?"

He nods.

"Yes, I need to talk to him. That's what the doctors said."

"But you're going to tell me what you were talking about, aren't you?"

He gives me a polite little smile.

"I will tell you what I can tell you."

[...]

Niall has been inside for about fifty minutes. And for fifteen of them, I walked in circles along the corridor and bit my nails. If this continues, I won't have any more nails left. I see blood flowing from under the nail, but I immediately forget about it, as the door opens.

"How is he? How did it go? What were you talking about? Is he very tired?"

He sighs, then suggests that I go to the cafeteria to discuss everything.

"He's asleep."

I can barely restrain myself from rushing to his room. Niall seems to notice this, so he adds: