"..." – Harry
***
Song: Trading Yesterday - For You Only
As soon as I open my eyes, I feel the sharp smell of medicines and stickiness in my mouth. I see a familiar female silhouette on the chair opposite.
"Mom?"
I whisper because my throat hurts so much. Like a hangover. I feel so heavy, I feel a little dizzy when I look around. I'm in a hospital room. Mom comes over to me.
"Louis, honey, how are you feeling?"
It's only when I hear her voice that I remember everything that happened yesterday. Everything flashes sharply before my eyes. The rolling vodka bottle, his body, the blood. The blood is on me. I'm freaking out. I jerk and sit up. I still feel like I'm covered in blood.
"Harry? Where's Harry? Where is he?"
I shiver and start pulling the IV out of me.
"I need to... Harry."
"Louis, stop it! My dear, calm down!"
Before she can even put her hand on my shoulder, the nurse comes into the room. He grabs my arms and forces me to lie back down. I try to resist, but he's stronger than me, and I'm not quite myself yet.
"Calm down."
"Where's Harry? I need to see him and..."
"He's fine, calm down."
"He's fine."
I repeat, like a robot.
"He's fine."
But he's not okay. Nothing's okay. I saw his body on the floor, his blood dried on my clothes. I start shouting something unintelligible. So fast that the nurse has to slap me in the face to get me to come to my senses.
"Listen to me."
He says clearly, and I look up at him, sobbing.
"Your friend is fine, okay? He overdosed and lost a lot of blood, but you called an ambulance in time, and we managed to save him. He's fine."
His hands are on my shoulders.
"He... he was on the floor, he didn't move. I told him to wake up, but he wouldn't listen to me and..."
"I know. Louis, right?"
"Y-yes. Louis. That's my name."
"Now, Louis, don't panic. Your friend is fine, he's in the next room."
"He's in the next room."
I repeat everything again as if I want to make sure that the words are true.
"That's right. Now breathe like me."
And he slowly inhales and exhales. I follow his example, telling myself that Harry is in the next room and that he is alive. He's breathing. He's fine.
"I want to see him."
The nurse removes his hands from my shoulders, and his gaze moves from me to my mother. The look on their faces doesn't bode well.
"Louis..."
"What? What is it?"
***
They wouldn't let me see Harry. That's why they looked at me like that because they were afraid to tell me I couldn't see him. I was discharged from the hospital yesterday afternoon, and I only spent one night there. The nurse explained to me that Harry had attempted suicide and I had had a nervous breakdown. He said that because I found him, it was very traumatic for me and that if I saw him, I might feel bad again. Lies, lies, lies. He didn't try to kill himself, what is this nonsense.
