The Degradation

Harry's Diary #6

Song: Anthem Lights - Let It Go

Dear diary,

Mom kept her promise, she came back. It's been two weeks, and I still can't believe she's really here. Louis came back to me, too, and I haven't been so happy in a long time, I haven't touched anything in ten days. No blades, no drugs. Mom seems like she's really happy to spend time with me. She just adores Louis. Of course, she adores him, it is impossible not to adore him. She doesn't seem to be drinking anymore, which is great. I spend all my time with her because I know that she will leave soon, even though she promised to stay for at least a month. Then she will go to India for work to restore some ancient temple.

One night, Louis asked me why I didn't travel with her when I was on vacation. It was hard for me to explain it to him, but he understood. He always understands. He said that one day we would go on a trip together, and I want to believe that this is true, I want to believe that I can.

I try to calm down, not to be too happy about my mother's return because when she leaves, it will be very difficult for me, but I can't. I just want her to like it with me. I want to seem normal to her so much that for the first time in a long time, I take all my medications at the specified time. It's hard to admit, but they work. I'm happy. Or maybe it's just because Mom's here. That Louis is here. Maybe I just forgot what it's like to be an optimist.

But my father, as always, is behaving like a total bastard. I've seen him for about ten minutes since my mother returned, and he doesn't even spend the night at home. He does everything he can to avoid her, and I hate him for it. My mother told me that she has a boyfriend and that they have been together for two years. This is the first I've heard of him. I'm sure deep down she still loves my father, and if he wasn't such a stubborn asshole, he could have gotten her back. But no, of course, he's too proud for that. She was right to leave him. It's his fault.

I have to go, today my mother invited me to a restaurant, she wants to announce something very important to me. I hope she's decided to stay here forever.

- H.