Tame me (18+)

Chapter 37: Anuca

"El! I got the pizza!"

I shut my eyes as I heard Luca's yell. Ever since I realized that I loved him, I wasn't able to concentrate. Every tiny thing he did, would pull me into this overthinking battle with myself in which I constantly forced myself to feel otherwise but couldn't.

When I was seventeen, I had the picture of my perfect guy in my mind. Someone who was equally fucked up as me, someone who would roll a joint for me and we would then sit on our front porch smoking our evenings away. Ever since I met Luca, I don't know where the fuck that picture disappeared. I was ready to freaking change for Luca. I was ready to stop smoking, stop sleeping around, stop drinking so much. I was ready. And that thought scared me to no ends. Never in my life did I think I would be willing to change for a man.

I was ready to leave my past behind, leave all my habits behind and start afresh with him.

I shut my eyes again. This was bad. This was horrible. What is wrong with me? Why do I sound like a cliché bitch in a cliché movie?

I sighed. What do I do now? Do I come clean to him before my feelings get haywire? Actually, imma make it like Elsa and 'conceal, don't feel'.

Also, I was r-

The door to my bedroom opened and Luca peaked through, "Hey, you good? I've been calling your name for the past 7 minutes. Pizza's here."

"Yeah I'm sorry. I was.... Uh.... Deep In thought."

"Is it about tomorrow?" he asked. We were leaving for nashville tomorrow. I was so used to the fucked up shit Diane would do so that really didn't affect me much.

"Yeah. I'm just worried."

"Sh, don't be. I'll be there right?" I smiled at him and walked upto his huge body, giving him a hug.

Conceal, don't feel.

"Anything I need to know before we reach Nashille?" Luca asked as we settled down on the couch, each with a slice of pizza in the hand.

I nodded, "Remember what I told you about the..... People?"

"Si." Luca said, taking a bite of the pizza.

"See, I always had a bad reputation in Nashville. I was the slut. I used to sleep around a lot. I use-"

He interrupted me, "Hey, hey, hey. I get it. Capisco."

I shut my eyes. Why did you have to be such a whore.

"I've told you before. You're here with me right now. That's all that matters to me, piccola." he smiled at me.

I don't deserve this guy.

You can't possibly drag him into your mess? Just let him be! Let him find some other beautiful Italian chick and let them make tiny meatballs together. Ugh, just the image of Luca and another girl made my blood boil. But I can't be selfish! Luca doesn't deserve someone as filthy as me.

"You're overthinking." Luca stated, snapping me out of my thoughts. I smiled at him nervously, taking a bite of my pizza.

We ate up the rest of the pizza, meanwhile talking about Nashville.

"I need you to come with me to Italia for thanksgiving then." my heart stopped beating for a second as I imagined meeting his mom and finally getting a glimpse of his life back in Italy.

"You want me to meet your madre?" I asked, cautiously. He frowned and then laughed.

"Well I'm meeting your madre so I guess it's only fitting you meet mine. She'll like you." I blushed and nodded.