After Everything I've Done

I stood in the kitchen, cooking up another meal for him. It had been three hours and he hadn't said anything; the clocks hands ticked. Soon reaching 7:50pm. I did check on him a few times to be sure he was ok, but he was just sat back in the chair. Thinking. I asked time to time if he needed a drink of water or anything like that but his answer was the same.

I'm fine. Thanks...

I decided I was going to make him drink at least a full glass of water with the dinner I was making; but he didn't seem to be fighting anymore. Just thinking. I was praying that I hadn't broken him in anyway... If I did I couldn't forgive myself, I'd be no better then her... No better then anyone. But him just thinking for three hours straight... I couldn't help but worry-- "Ow!"

Blood dripped from my finger as the new cut was created from my knife. I pulled back, then ran it under a cold tap to wash anyway any infection or blood. Luckily none of my blood dripped onto the food, the vegetables were still ok and clean but a small puddle of blood still sat on the corner of the chopping board. After making sure my own finger was clean, I put a bandage around it before cleaning up the blood and continuing with the cooking. I hope he didn't hear me do that... But it just showed I needed to focus on what I was doing. But I couldn't help but panic... Everything I had done was now weighing on his decision... But even with the messages I got from him... He most likely will want nothing to do with me. But what do I do then? Leave him there while I continued to feed him crap until his sanity is stripped away... or just end it all already and let him go... ending myself for the police to find...

...I didn't know...

Once the vegetables were added I stirred the brown mixture as the coloured pieces floated around on the surface, each fighting for dominance to be on top. I couldn't help but be amused somewhat at how the different colours bounced off one another. Some being caused to sink while other fought back  to remain on top. But when the alarm went off at 8:10pm was when I turned the jet off and dished out the stew into a separate bowl using a ladle. Then I poured the glass of water like I said I would and placed a spoon in the bowl: taking them both to him. "...George...?" I quietly spoke as I pushed open the door, he looked over at me with a blank expression which cracked me slightly. "I made dinner..." He stared before gesturing at the chair for me to sit. I was surprised he wanted me to, but I did as I did last time and sat across from him. Bowl and glass on my lap. "What'd you make this time..." He asked in a dull tone. "...Beef stew..." I muttered. He seemed to sniff the air a little, before looking back at me. "I want to make another deal."

"...what..."

"I'll eat if you promise me something."

"...ok..."

"You'll untie me."

...

"w-what..."

"You heard."

What the hell was I supposed to do?! If I untied him then he'd just leave but if I didn't he wouldn't even eat! But then again the way he said it... it was calm... it sounded like it had no bad intentions. But at the same time, it felt dead. Maybe I did break him... and if so I did the only thing I told myself I wouldn't never do... and...

"Anemone."

...

"Will you agree to my terms or not..." I didn't know what to do... I couldn't just say yes then turn my back on it after I fed him, b-but...

...this was the deciding moment... whether I continue with this life or be put in the grave early like the rest of my family which failed to obtain their meaning.

"...sure..."

"Untie my hands first..."

After just staring at the ties for what seemed like forever, I reached over and did as I was told. Letting both his hands free. I expected him to grab me in some way; but they didn't. Instead he looked at them, front and back. Then looked at the bowl and glass on my lap. "...here..." Passing him the bowl and cup, he started to eat. Not looking at me as I sat there watching him. Still waiting for the answer if after everything I had done would be all for nothing or not. It took him 10 minutes to finish everything before placing them down next to the chair and looking back at me. "Legs next..."Despite fighting against it, my hands started to shake as I reached for the rope. Everything in my body telling me not to, I tried to have my hand under control. "Anemone..."

I looked back up at him, he hadn't changed. Just staring at me with a blank expression. For whatever reason... this calmed me down... my hand stopped shaking and it slowly untied both the ropes and they fell to the floor. Moving my hand away, I looked back up at him. Then he stood up. Surprised, I also stood up from my chair, pushing it aside with my food and backed up as he continued to approach me. Eventually I hit the wall and closed my eyes. I did break him, and he was going to kill me. It's what I deserved after hurting him so much. After everything that happened. This was my fate; to be murdered my the hands of the man I loved.

Or was it even love, I couldn't tell anymore. The emptiness came back as well as the darkness as my body began to shake. This was how it ended. After everything this was how it ended... they were all right... our types never get a happy ending. No matter what we do or try to do it'll always end up being a broken mess. I never deserved a happy ending and never will.

But then there was a sweetness. A soft touch. Something which I had never felt before in my entire life.

Opening my eyes, he was there. Eyes inches away from mine but closed; lips interlocked. The darkness went away but I was still left shaking; at any moment I was going to collapse from this overwhelming moment. I didn't know what to do. What was I to do? I just felt so... full...

Feeling a wet streak roll down my face, he pulled away a moment later. Realising I had been brought to tears just from this simple action. He stared at it before wiping it away with his hand. "We don't need that now..." He commented in a soft voice, placing a hand on my cheek which seemed to be the only thing holding me up. "You said I'm the only thing that gives you meaning to live in this world, right..." I barely could even nod at this rate. I was so... happy... happy wasn't even the correct word to describe it. I just felt... fulfilled... complete... was he... really...

He must have noticed I was going to cry again. "Shh... I'm with you, aren't I..?" I couldn't help it, he could tell to. So he just hugged me while I became a crying mess on him. Then he said something which I'll never forget even after the day I die.

"I love you to, Anemone..."

That was my breaking point where I let it all out. He kissed me again as I did the same, still crying at the fact I had done it. It was all over. I did it. After everything I did it. I got him willingly, no force or anything. Despite what they all said. Despite what they all did. I didn't end up like either of them. I kept my word. My promise I made to myself since I was a little girl. I actually did it.

I was so happy.

"George... I..." Brushing my hair from my face, he wiped the tears away once more. "Yeah..."

"...I'm so happy... I thought... you'd..."

"But I didn't... anyone else would have most likely... but I don't think anyone else would understand how lucky they'd be to have someone care for them as much as you care for me... Am I right...?" I nodded. "And you love me, right..." I nodded again. "Then let me show you how much I love you to..." Something else filled me from that comment, another type of desire and lust. Did he really... mean...

Though he could already see it from my expression. He chuckled, picked me up and carried me to my bedroom before locking the door.