I put the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter as my hands shook. I had been throwing up vigorously ever since Shawn and I hooked up.
I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned over the sink. I was hoping I wasn't pregnant.
After What felt like a lifetime, which was actually three minutes, the pregnancy was ready.
I picked it up and I felt like I was going to drop it out of my hands. I closed my eyes tightly "please. im begging you." I whispered
I looked down and it dropped out of my hands. I sat down on the toilet seat lid and raised my knees so i could cry into them.
I thought back to the night we had together that I worked out clearly what had happened a few days ago. "Why would you be so fucking stupid Hannah?" I asked
Two knocks hit the door "Hannah. Avias calling you she said you guys are going to be late. " Shawm said on the other side. He was here because it was his day with the kids
I wiped my tears away, threw the test into the bathroom draw and the box in the bin. "Tell her I'll be out in a minute." I cleared my throat
I put my hand on the handle.
I put my shoes on and went outside. We were meant to go out for a few bits for Christmas.
I got into the car and didn't say hi. "You alright?" She snapped her fingers in front of me
"No." My voice broke
I put my face in my hands and sobbed into them. I felt like i was going to throw up, I don't know if it was morning sickness or just of how much I was crying.
Avia put her arms around me and hugged me tightly "what's wrong?" She asked
"Everything. Drive away from this house." I tried to say
She nodded her head as I tried to calm my cry's down. "Let's scrap going shopping today." She said to me
I lifted my head and mascara was running down my face and. We were also at this little spot that not a lot of people knew about which was so funny because it was literally the most beautiful place on Earth.
"I need to make a call."I picked my phone up and stepped outside of the car
I went straight to my tour manager (John) to call him. "We are cancelling tour." I didn't even let him speak
"Why?" He asked
"I'm pregnant. I'm not doing tour. I can't sing these songs and act like I'm fine when I'm not." I said
"You're pregnant?" He was shocked "is shawn the dad?"
"Yeah." My voice broke but I held the tears back which felt like there was a rope being tightened around my throat
"Are you sure?"
I paused "Yeah. I am." I said
"Alright then. Tours cancelled." He said
"I'll speak to you later." I said "bye."
"Good Bye Hannah."
I got into the car. "Can you drop me off home please. I just want to be home." I said
"Yeah."she nodded her head
*** I got into the house and saw Shawns shoes still there. "Shawn?" I said
The house was silent. I walked into the living room and saw him on the sofa looking down at the floor. "When were you going to tell me?" He lifted his head.
We met eyes. His were blood shot and looked like he hadn't slept in weeks because they were so puffy. He led the pregnancy test up.
"I was going to tell you." My voice broke
"Why are you pregnant. Aren't you on the pill?" He asked
"No I'm not. I got off the pills because I didn't think I was going to be sexually active and the pills were messing with my hormones and it was adding too much stress." I told him "why were you looking through my things?"
"I wasn't. I went to throw a wrapper in the bin and saw the box then I had to get tape because I was wrapping yours and the kids Christmas gifts and I saw the rest!" He snapped
"Why are you getting angry?" I shouted
"I'm getting angry because you didn't want to tell me that you weren't on the pill!!"
" I was fucking drunk. You should've used a condom any ways!!!"
"What are we going to do?" The atmosphere went calmer after we both took a deep breath
"I'm keeping the baby. If you want to stay with me, stay here. If you want to leave , leave the house. I don't want you to stay only for this new kid. I only want you to stay if you're genuinely in love with me. Don't do this for the kids." I told him
He stood up and walked closer to me "Are you still in love with me?"
It was so cringe but I had to say it out loud "did I ever fall out?"
We both slowly leaned into a kiss. "I love you." He said after our meaningful kiss
"I love you too." I hugged him tightly
@hannahsmith Instagram
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
@hannahsmith: i wanted to announce this myself before it got out into the press. but, i am cancelling tour. this is 100% my decision and no one has influenced it. im so thankful and grateful for everything's this ep and tour has done for me and made me fall in love with music but i need to work on myself and stay with my family. im also announcing that im taking a long social media break and you probably wont see me out a lot. im taking time away to focus on myself, being a better mother and a better girlfriend. i love every single one of you so much and there will be a full refund for every single person who has bought a ticket. im so sorry....... i need time. ill see you all soon goodbye hannah 🖤
Comments are blocked for this post
@shawnmendes Instagram
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
