I walked out onto the stage to go on to jimmy fallon. It was a bit different to the normal shows because my team partnered with Jimmy's to fly out a bunch of fans from across the world to do a listening party and listen to jimmy and I chat.
"Hey guys!!" I waved at the cheering crowd. "Hey!!" I squealed as did jimmy as we hugged
After the fans had settled a bit jimmy and I started talking "Hannah! How are you? It's been a crazy month for you."
"I know, last time you saw me I had just had nathan, now here we are and we've got skylar." I said "and I'm single now." I rubbed my hands together and the fans started cheering for me making me laugh "you guys are acting like you didn't love him." I pointed at them
"Basically, What we are going tonight is like a mini listening party, a q&a section and we are going to hang out and it's going to be really fun." Jimmy told the camera
"I'm going to explain a few songs. It's going to he really fun." I added in
"I'm gonna ask you the first question. Explain to me the order of the songs and why you chose to do it in that order."
"The order of the songs took my longer to do than actually writing them," I laughed "it starts off with the heart wants what it wants and ends with love will remember. I done that because love will remember. I felt like that was a good way to wrap up how I felt and yeah. I'm not gonna get too much into that because I think we all know how I felt after we actually hear the songs."
"Should we play the ep first then?" He raised his eyebrows at me and smirked
"Yeah, let's do it." I rubbed my hands together and bit down on my lip
I watched all their reactions as they listened to the songs. They all were so different, some had huge smiles on their faces and some were crying and there was another bunch that looked overwhelmed.
We had finished the albums "don't cry guys. I'm fine." I laughed
"Are you sure though?" Jimmy handed me a paper towel
"Yes, I'm fine."
"Why do you think you've gotten so many different reactions?"
"The people who were smiling were like, yes we've gotten new music," I laughed and pointed at one of the girls who I knew thought that "the ones who didn't really Have a reaction and kinda sat there I think you guys were overwhelmed. And the ones are crying, this is because you guys have gone through something very similar to me?" I tried to guess and they all nodded as I described their emotion "let's answer some questions." I tired to life them mood up
There was already an order so the first girl stood up "hello, my name is ash, and my question is are all of these songs about the same person?"
I smiled at her "hello ash, yes. All of these songs are about one person, I think we can all guess who that person is.
Another girl stood up "can you explain every song on the ep?"
"Yes, with the heart wants what it wants it's basically me opening up about my relationship troubles with my now ex, that's all I can really say about this song. You can kinda make your own interpretation of the song." I nodded my head slowly "With sober, sobers a good one,"I raised my eyebrows "so, no shade to shawn, but the songs obviously about a lover basically not being able to love you when they are sober. Which is the main lyric in the song. So, when he got back from tour, what you guys didn't know but it was a huge rumour was that yes we did go on a break because he was going out constantly. You guys are hearing the song now, but that song I have had written since August I didn't think it would ever come out because it was the most scariest song because it wasn't just showing how I was feeling but it was also showing quite clearly all the things that made my relationship fall apart and all the bad things he was doing." I said "I really like the transition from sober to it aint me because it shows like the breaking point for me and it aint me is the literally the middle song so its kinda cool i don't know, that doesn't make sense," I shrugged my shoulders "it's basically saying, what are you going to do now that I'm gone, you know. And me saying, you need to sort your own life out because I'm not helping out anymore. You need To grow up. There's a lyric where it says "who's waking up to drive you home when you're drunk and all alone" and i remember when Shawn was going on his little partying craze there was a point where I was having to wake up the kids put them in the car at like 3,4 in the morning because he wasn't able to go home by himself because he had gotten so drunk and his friends couldn't take him and I was the only persons who could. That was one of the most horrible things ever I think," I licked my lips "perfect, this song. Also when this whole thing was going on, Shawn was hanging out a lot with Hailey, the girl he cheated with me on. Basically, I knew there was something going on. Come on, She stayed in my house for a few days. When you're getting cheated on and you know it's really sad. You start telling yourself things and it makes you go crazy. The lyrics are pretty self explanatory. I could literally taste her lipstick on his lips, I could smell her on his clothes, i use to go to bed while they were sitting in the living room and imagine them doing stuff and I literally use to tell camila And avia, two of my best friends, this girl is perfect. I think the song sound very sexy and confident but it really isn't. It's actually insecurity in the lyrics. There are also a few stories that go along with these songs but I'll tweet about them or something because this is getting long," i said "with back to you, it's saying no matter what happens between us we will always find a way back to each other. You could hurt me but my heart will always have you. I went out with another person straight after the second break up and that's where the line "I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to When I'm lying close to someone else" came from. I would over think the tiniest things and it would drive me crazy. It's basically me saying, no matter how shit the situation may be it will always be you and I want to do all things with you when I can't. I feel like the song is saying my whole life revolves around you," I felt my eyes fill with tears "there's gonna be a lot of crying in this," i wiped my eyes again "love will remember, it isn't a ballad which I wanna say it is but it's not because it's a big song, it's a big sound. That song is me expressing everything I went through, am still going through a month later and have been going through. I think every lyric in that song was beautifully said and it this song is so universal and you can apply it to yourself how ever you want. It could be about a best friend, a feeling you had for a season, or someone who has passed , whatever you want it to be about. No matter what goes on or what you go through at the end of the day, love will remember. You will remember, she will remember, he will remember," I said before pointing at the crowd "they will remember," I smiled "It will always be there, " "my favourite lyric is, somewhere in forever we'll dance again. It's cute it beautiful, it closes the ep on such a beautiful note and you can take whatever you want from it." A tear fell down my face
"That was beautiful." Jimmy said making me laugh "we've got another question from alaya."
"You told us shawn heard the ep and watched the music video to the heart wants what it wants. How was that?"
"He said it was beautiful. We both ended up crying at the end of it."
"How's it going with Shawn and the kids?" Jimmy Asked
"We are trying to co-parent. I think we still aren't over the break up. I don't think we ever will be because we shared such an intense beautiful few years together and had two beautiful beautiful kids together, why would we ever stop loving each other? We've gone through so much and he's one person I will never stop loving and I know he knows that."
"Do you think you'll ever get back together?" The fan called from the audience
"Somewhere in Forever we'll dance again." Jimmy nudged my shoulder after he had used one of my lyrics
"I don't know," I swallowed the lump in my throat "I like what you did there Jimmy." I winked "I can't answer that question. I'm so sorry."
"We've got one last question from Ryan." Jimmy said and Ryan stood up
"What was the writing process like if you've got two kids?"
"I wrote 112 songs. That's a lot. I basically wrote all night. No lie. There was already a studio booth downstairs in my basement that was just sitting there and music was just therapy for me. I don't know it was really cool and I couldn't ever write music like that again." I said before looking at the whole crowd again "I've got a surprise for all of you guys." I said before someone from my team bought out Nathan and skylar.
"Oh my god!" They are said and cheered for them
Skylar looked at the camera and smiled "She's such a natural." Jimmy told me "look at Nathan." He was talking and speaking to girls who were sitting on the front row
"He's definitely already a flirt and is going to be a heartbreaker when he's older." I laughed "I wanted to show you guys then because I haven't ever done that before and yeah."
"Before Hannah leaves you guys are leaving with a signed copy of Hannah's ep called for you which is out now and also there is a meet and greet straight after this. Hannah's going on tour and tour tickets are going on sale tomorrow. That's it for tonight guys, thank you for watching. Good bye!!" Jimmy said before waving the camera goodbye.
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@hannahsmith: it was a dream meeting every single one of you tonight. love u all 🖤
