read all about it | shawn mendes

Chapter 97

19th August 2023

Shawn stumbled back into the house after not answering any of our calls for the whole night.

His cheeks were all flushed and he had these stench of alcohol and weed mixed. "Where were you?" I sat at the bottom of the stairs with my hands in my head.

He came towards me and started walking up the stairs. I put my hand on his stopping him from walking. "Get off me!" He snapped and pushed my hand away from his

"Tell me what the fuck is wrong with you!!!!" I screamed not holding back "you've been away for the whole fucking night not answering any of our fucking calls. Don't you think that scares us?!"

He face turned soft. "I'm sorry."

I walked to the living room because his stench was too much for me to handle with all these emotions.

He followed my shortly. "I'm just really tired ."

I walked to him and cupped his face . "just talk to me." I begged

"Just everything"

"That's not a good enough answer." I looked to my left trying to hold back my tears. "I'm sorry. I can't do this. Don't you think you're the only person that's hurting. You mum dad sister and I were worried sick that something happened to you. You've got kids, a family, a job, you're such a great fucking person but this isn't the person I fell in love with."

"Please don't." His eyes started to immediately fill with tears

"You've got a family, you barely see this kids because you come home so late from being crazy and drinking you sleep the whole day. I've given you too many chances but I can't do this anymore. It's draining me." Both of the tears slipped out of our eyes and down our cheeks.

"What do you want to do then?" We stood in the middle of the living floor and the moon light came in from the window and illuminated the spot we were standing in.

"We need to end things." Shawn immediately started to shake his head no.

"I've really fucked up." He whispered

"It will be a break because I know how much the kids are going to miss you."

"When do you want me to leave?"

"Tomorrow, morning. Say goodbye to the kids first because I don't want you to disappear out of their lives for a few weeks or months. Or however long this is going to be."

"I won't be able to see them?" His voice cracked

"It's going to be too hard for us. We are still going to see each other it won't be an actual break."

We stood in silence for a bit.

I can't believe I'm actually doing this

He went in to kiss me and it wasn't the same feeling. It didn't feel right. I pulled away from him and walked into our bedroom. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked.

Shawn came up and got out a suit case. I watched him pack his stuff in silence. "Where are you going to stay?" I broke the silence

"My old apartment, I've still got it." He didn't even look at me.

***

All his bags were packed and at the front door. "The kids should be awake soon." As I said that Nathan walked down the stairs. "Is skylar awake?" I asked him and he nodded

I quickly went upstairs to get her.

I bought her hand and I could hear shawn in the living Talking to Nate. I went in with sky in my hands.

"You know how daddy goes away to perform for other people? He's doing that again." Shawns cheeks were all red and he had tears streaming down his face.

"Don't weave daddy." He said

"I need to. But, you've got to promise me something." He kissed his nose and took his pinky "promise me you will look after mummy and skylar while I'm gone."

"Pwomise."

Shawn tried to laugh. "I love you so much." He held Nathan to his chest and hugged him tightly.

Skylar shrieked. "You missy." He took her from my hands. "You are such a fun personality. I haven't got a lot to say because I've missed out on a lot of you life. But I love you." She snuggled his chest.

He put the kids on the floor to play and we went to the front door to talk. "Please give me a hug. One last time."

I went over and he bear hugged me. We stood in silence for a few moments. "I love you and I'm so sorry I fucked everything up." He said loudly enough for only me to hear.

We both sniffled.

We both naturally pulled away and I stood on my top toes. "Don't cry while driving, it's not safe." I smiled and wiped his tears.

"I love you."

I stood there as he told me he loved me not knowing what to reply with because I honestly didn't. "Bye."

"Bye." He opened the front door and wheeled his suitcase and bags out.