Nathan kicked his legs around as I tired to put his clothes on. He started to scream at the top of his lungs. "Nathan." I pulled him up.
His face was all red. Tears were streamed down his face and snot was all over. "I want daddy!!!!!!!!!" He screamed sitting criss cross.
"I want daddy too, but I can't have him!!!" I lost it. I know it wasn't right for me to shout like that but since Shawns not even been in the house weather he was helping out or not it was so hard just not having him.
I pushed my fly aways out of my face. "Just please listen to mummy and please put on your top." I felt useless.
Avia came into the room. "You look stressed." She said to me "let me do this for you. Go to the garden and calm down a bit."
I nodded and left the bedroom and got some fresh air.
Avia came down with Nathan holding her hand. "Sam and I going to go now. We will be back later."
"Alright bye, love you."
"Love you too." ***
Dad walked In to the house said hi to the kids and went up to the guest bedroom because I needed help putting together a draw.
"So how are you?" He put the instructions down and took out a screw "and be honest."
"Nathan got in a huge tantrum and I think shawn being away is really getting to him he was just screaming for his dad and I couldn't take it. I literally said I want daddy too, and Avia came into the room to sort Nathan out for me. I feel like I'm failing as a mum. I should be able to keep it together but I can't do it."
"You're not failing as a mother. You're one of the best I've ever seen. You're so young and you're an incredible mother."
"I just miss him. Skylar noticed he was gone the day he left. She's lost her character. She was so bubbly when he was here, she's different and I know she's only nine months. But oh my god this is so hard."
"You need to stop thinking and making everything about him. You're on a break."
"He's everywhere but not here. I can feel him and it's so weird."
"It heartbreak."
"We aren't broken up though! We are on a break. everyone needs to get it through their head"
We stayed silent for a moment. "Let's do this another day. I need to go." Dad excused himself and left the house because we had spent so long just talking we couldn't get anything done.
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@hannahsmith: Remind me why we're taking a break It's obviously insane Cause we both know what we want So why don't we fall in love? Baby, let's be in love
