amour ruel

i hate ruelving you

i rested my shoulder on ruel's head as we were on the flight home after our stopover. he stroke my hair the same as he had the other night, on our way to nando's. my heart was aching. i knew this was going to be hard. i knew we wouldn't be able to see eachother all that much. i wasn't going to say it out loud, but i knew we were going to fall out of love. that thought scared me. so much. the past few days had been the best days of my life. and now they were over, and i was going to be a minimum of an hour away from him all the time. it brought tears to my eyes, and down my face.

ruel - hey hey hey hey why are you making my shirt wet?

isabel - cause i'm going to miss you, curtains

ruel - izzy baby i miss you already

isabel - i just-

ruel- izzy please don't cry. i'll move to central coast if i have to. i promise you, i'll make it work.

he hugged me tighter than ever. i felt horrible but his warmth made me feel better. i wasn't even excited to see my family or friends. i wan't excited to go back to school. back to reality.

ruel - i love you

isabel - i love you too

when we landed, my heart dropped once again. this was it. we were parting our ways and we probably weren't going to see eachother for a while. i dreaded the moment i would grab my suitcase and hail a taxi to drive me home. but i knew that moment was quite literally around the corner. 

i grabbed my suitcase and hugged everyone. i tried my hardest to force a smile.

chelsea- bye iz. it was great to meet you. hopefully you can come along next time!

isabel - aw you too chelsea! i really hope i can as well.

nate - see ya isabel. thanks for keeping ruel just a bit sane this tour.

isabel - thanks nate. and it was a struggle trust me.

kate - ah. isabel. thankyou for being so kind to ruel. i know he'll miss you.

isabel - you are the sweetest, mrs v-d. i'll miss you all like crazy too!

michelle - goodbye izzy! definitely come visit me in melbourne and we can have a shoot together!

isabel - i'll definitely take you up on that, m.

coco was next, and i was dreading saying goodbye. she'd become like a sister to me. she was the reason me and ruel were so in love.

coco - iz, i'm going to miss you so fucking much.

isabel - me too, coco. please come visit me soon.

coco - for sure. i have no friends so see you next week.

we hugged for ages. i was never letting her go. mainly because i would miss her, but also because i knew who i had to say goodbye to next.

ruel looked at me, he had those puppy dog eyes that killed me every time. he held out his arms.

ruel - come here, goldie.

i did. i wrapped my arms around him tighter than ever. i never wanted to let go. ever. i could die in his arms and i would still be happy. 

isabel - ruel

ruel - isabel

isabel - i'm going to miss you so fucking much. 

the tears were already streaming down my face.

ruel - isabel i'm going to miss you so much more. more than you know.

isabel - please don't let go

ruel - i don't want to, but you need to. your taxi is here

i let go. 

isabel - we'll make it work?

ruel- we'll make it work, i promise.

isabel - i love you.

ruel - i love you more.

i grabbed my suitcase, wiped my face with my arm, turned away, and left.

we'd make it work. i knew it.

but i didn't. well sort of.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THIS IS NOT THE END DON'T WORRY.

THIS CHAPTER HURT SO MUCH TO WRITE AND I CAN'T BEAR TO WRITE ANYMORE

I'LL UPDATE SOON DON'T WORRYYYYYYYYYY

LOVE YOUS