You Never Said Goodbye

Old Friends

Lisa POV

Its been over a week since Jennie and I came back from our trip.

I can see that she’s having a hard time dealing with all this but that she’s also trying to be ok. Still she does blow hot and cold at times. I know she’s scared out of her wits at the thought that I’d leave her for Chaeyoung. But as I told her, I don’t want to leave her. I want for my choice at the end of the day to be her.

However we both know that what we want and what will happen can be very different things.

Jennie tries not to talk bout Chaeyoung but I know she’s curious so I tell her more whenever she asks. I even show her the pictures I’ve kept in my laptop. She was shocked and upset that I still had all those photos and I know it pains her to see those them; to see how happy I was with Chaeyoung but I keep telling her that that’s also all in the past. Things are different now.

She’s also being really careful with me. It’s probably because she’s trying to be the perfect girlfriend in an effort to convince me that she’s the one I should be with in the end. It pains me to see her like this. She’s not being herself. And its my fault because I can’t make a decision. I still need to talk to Chaeyoung to clear things up. I need to confront her bout what happened between us. Only then will I be able to decide.

Nevertheless, I know that even if I get back together with Chaeyoung, things will never be the same for us. We’ll never be that happy innocent couple we were before. There’ll always be a void, a distance. It’ll be difficult for me to overcome the hurt I experienced.

I met up with Seulgi and Irene for dinner and to talk a couple nights ago. What can I say, I need my old friends.

They’ve been my friends since forever and they’ve stay with me through everything. I love and trust them. As usual they both helped in their own way. Seulgi tried to reason with me. Irene yelled at me for a bit.

Flashback

‘Taeyeon-ah you are so treating me to this dinner. I’ve been trying to comfort Jennie all week and its your fault. You owe me.’ Irene stares greedily at the meat that’s sizzling on the grill.

‘Sorry Baechu, I will. Please help yourself to the food. Order what you want.’

Irene’s eyes widen with greed as she contemplates all the dishes she could order. This is one of those times where she can pig out and she fully intends to. Moreover she has been comforting Jennie and that does make a person like her hungry. Being around sad people gets her down. The only real way to get her happy again is to feed her.

‘Joohyun-ah, don’t take advantage of Lisa like that… she’s depressed. Don’t be such a bully!’

‘But Seulgi, she said its ok…’

‘Yea it is, don’t worry bout it. You 2 should eat. I owe you girls at least a treat’ I say.

‘Lis, how’ve you been holding up?’ Seulgi give me a look of concern.

‘Well, I’m confused, Jennie’s worried to death and I don’t know what to do.’ The look of understanding on Seulgi’s face is one that speaks volumes of how strong and stable our friendship is. She knows what I’m thinking and going through without me saying much.

‘Lisa, just so you know, my vote is for Jendeuk. I introduced you 2. I think she’s what you need and come on, she’s perfect. If I didn’t have Seulgi here I’d have gone for her. OUCH! What was that for??? Oh, sorry bear, I’ll keep quiet and eat now.’

Afterwhich Irene proceeds to stuffing her face.

“Well, I know Jennie’s the one I should end up with. I do. But Chaeyoung… well she’s Chaeyoung you know?’ and because those 2 know me so well, they know the place Chaeyoung has in my life and in my heart. Some people just never leave you heart. You always will want them and you always will have a soft spot for them. They are that one person who can stop the tears even though they are also that one person who made you cry in the first place.

‘Lis, I’m with Joohyun. Jennie’s the one you need. She’s a keeper. After all you’ve put her through she’s still around. That counts for a lot. Any other person would’ve left you by now. That proves that she’ll stay. She loves you. And Chaeyoung, she left you. I know in your eyes she’s perfect and awesome but she left. I don’t think you need someone like that. You may want her but she’s not good for you. Than again she may have changed after all these years so I also suggest that you talk to her. I think you 2 need to talk things out. Don’t keep Jennie waiting though, there’s only so much a person can take.’

I reach over to hug Seulgi. Its good to have friends like her.

‘Thanx Seulgi I know I can always count on you.’

‘Hey! Let go of her! She’s MINE!’ Irene pushes me away and grabs Seulgi in a possessive embrace. ‘You’re mine aren’t you Seulgi?’ Seulgi nods her head and the 2 proceed to kiss.

“Argh... PDA. Stop it you 2 I’m trying to eat here!’ I shout.

We all laugh and continue with our meal. After dinner, we’re just resting from all the eating. I know that it’s asking for a bit too much but I need to ask Irene for a favour.

“Irene, er.. could you help me assure Jennie? Tell her that she should stop worrying?’

“Lisa, if you mean that you want me to tell her you’ll choose her in the end. I’m sorry I can’t. I don’t set my friends up for heartbreak. But I will continue to comfort her and support her alright?’

‘Yea, I suppose. Thank you. er… shall we have desert? Ice Cream?’

Flashback ends

I’m trying to find a way to talk to Jennie about me meeting Chaeyoung. Its hard to bring it up but I know that for all parties involved, dealing with this head on would bring about a faster resolution. Better to rip the band aid off than to slowly peel it off.