You Never Said Goodbye

I'm by your side

Jisoo POV

Its been a week since Chaeyoung met Lisa and she’s still crying in my arms.

‘Chu she hates me, she never wants to talk or see me again.’

I’m at a loss for words. I honestly don’t know what I can do to comfort her anymore. Seeing her in my arms like this crying for someone else, lets just say its not how I would want her when she’s in my arms. This is one of the times I feel burdened by my love for Chaeyoung. I really don’t know if I can keep this up. I can’t keep comforting her while she’s hurting over someone else. Its never easy being by her side while she’s in love with someone else. But this is worse. I find myself saying things like “she doesn’t hate you, you told me she said she still loves you remember”. Or “don’t give up Chaeng-ah, she’ll come around."

I wonder if she will ever realise that I’m the one who has been supporting her all these years. I was there for her longer than she wasn’t with Lisa. I saw her through the ups and downs of pursuing her dreams. I wonder when she will see me and accept me. Will it always be about her and Lisa? Will it never ever be just me and her?

‘Chu, I’m sorry I keep doing this to you. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for coming to Korea.’ She says and she hugs me tighter. Your words and actions.. they just seem to bind me closer to you.

But I just want to scream at her. I just want to tell her to wake up and move on. I don’t want her to thank me for being a friend. I want her to move on to me; to see at me only. But I keep silent and hug her tighter. With her I have to be strong. I will never let her see my tears because I know she’ll leave if she does. But I cry on the inside where no one can see.

I met with Joy and Yeri when they came over to comfort Chaeyoung. They’re nice people and they’re a happy couple. I can see the look on Tiffany’s face when she observes them. It’s a look of envy and longing. I understand that look. I have it too.

I heard from Chaeyoung about Joy’s proposal plan and I understood that Chaeyoung didn’t really want them around. For one, they are just too lovey dovey for a broken hearted person to be around and secondly, she didn’t want to spoil their mood. Joy was working hard at romancing Yeri and them being around her wasn’t a good idea too. So mostly it was just me lending Chaeyoung my shoulder. Correction, she has my shoulder and every part of me already. She just doesn’t want me. I’m really starting to resent Lisa.

Last Saturday all 4 of us went to a club to try to cheer Chaeyoung up. That was a bad idea. She got so wasted. Moreover every other guy and girl was hitting on her and buying her drinks. She wasn’t doing anything to deter them. It wasn’t like she was accepting their advances, I mean she was only dancing with all of us girls but she wasn’t turning them away either.

So I had to play bodyguard all night trying to keep her from being felt up or drugged. The paranoid part of me actually thinks a part of her wouldn’t have minded. That disturbed and angered me a bit. But I’m just her friend and I have no rights over her. I hate that.

Joy and Yeri were lost in their own little world. I must admit those girls can really move. And they are hot together. There practically was a crowd around them that was just watching and drooling. When Chaeyoung and I joined them, I the crowd seemed to get bigger. But that may be because Chaeyoung was high and she was getting a little touchy feely with Joy. I could tell Yeri was a little angry but she let it go cos the night was about helping Chaeyoung let off some steam and let loose.

The next day Chaeyoung was hungover and apologetic over her behaviour which made things worse cos she felt even worse about herself. So I’ve concluded that bringing broken hearted people to clubs is never a good idea. But that’s besides the point.

Seeing Chaeyoung behave this way, I know I have no choice. I don’t want to do this because I’ll practically be sending Lisa into her arms. But seeing her so shattered and remembering my promise of always being by her side I know I have to step in. Its not like I didn’t plan to do this anyway, its just hard to.

I excuse myself into the kitchen and make a call. ‘Joy, can I have Lisa’s number and address? I need to talk to her, there’s some stuff she needs to know.’